Beautiful Chaos

Tuesday Nights at Our House

On any given Tuesday night, if you were to drop by our home, you would hear the noise and chaos before you ever even stepped foot inside. Tuesday nights are full of what we call “beautiful chaos” in our home. It’s the night our small group from church gets together. Twenty-one of us gather in our small home. Thirteen of that twenty-one is kids ages ten and under. It’s pretty much a circus.

When everyone first arrives, it’s a time of hugs and greetings. The kids take off right away to play outside or downstairs in the basement. The adults shrug off their coats and sit on the couches or at the tables. Usually, I have a few last-minute things to finish in the kitchen. Then we call the kids in, and we all gather together to pray. Then the real madness begins— getting thirteen kids and eight adults through the serving line and settled.

I’ll admit; it gets a little crazy for a few minutes. Soon, though, it quiets down a little as everybody begins eating. We laugh and talk as we connect and eat. In a few minutes, we will clear the plates away and make room for dessert. Matt will get us set up with whatever Bible study we are currently doing. The kids will be sent to go play so we can begin our Bible study. They will come back and interrupt at least thirty times, but that’s just part of the deal.

The Best Part of the Night

I love all of it, but this moment, right here is my favorite. I lift my fork to my mouth and take a moment to look around my table. A smile comes to my face as I study each of the faces that make up our small group. It’s a group of people that the world would have never put together. None of us even knew each other a few years ago.

We are black and white and mixed. We come from all walks of life; we have different religious backgrounds and contrasting political values. Yet, somehow, we have become good friends, even the best of friends.

These moments, when we’re all gathered around the table with plates piled high of barbecue chicken and mashed potatoes or nachos or fajitas, are precious. It’s a time when we can take a break away from work, away from the pressures of life, and just be together. The longer we sit around the table, the more everybody relaxes, letting their cares and concerns go for just a few blissful hours.

Around Our Table

At this same table, we have shared heartbreak and sorrow, victories and accomplishments, frustrations and fears, prayer requests and praises. We’ve cried around this table and we’ve laughed. We’ve laughed so much, sometimes it hurts. We share a bond that goes deeper than casual friendship. It’s a bond you can only get with time.

In a few hours, we will push away from the table and head out in different directions. The pressures of life, jobs, relationships and finances will once again come to the forefront. But for now, we push all that away and just enjoy being together. We laugh, talk, and connect with each other.

What Grace Looks Like

To me, this is a beautiful picture of what grace looks like. Grace is what allows people from all different backgrounds to come together and form friendships. Grace allows the working moms to be gentle and non-judgmental to this stay-at home mom. Grace allows each of us to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes.

Grace allows us to see past the flaws and imperfections of each other. This is the way God views each of us. He doesn’t see our mistakes and failures; instead, He sees the masterpiece He created. That’s how we are supposed to view others, but that’s usually not the case. We’ve been conditioned to notice those who are different than us. Of course, if they’re different than us, that automatically makes them wrong.

Choosing to Just Show Up

Our small group isn’t perfect. We will be the first to admit we have a lot of flaws. We have arguments and disagreements with our spouses, we get frustrated with our children, we get weary and discouraged, we don’t always do things the best way. But one thing our group gets right each week is grace. We each choose to show up and love the others in our group with a God-kind of love, a love that overlooks imperfections. We’ve spent enough time together over the years that we know each other’s weaknesses. We could point those out and focus on those imperfections, but we don’t. Instead, we choose to overlook those imperfections because we remember we have our own. That’s grace.

We show up each week and step into the chaos, ready to extend grace to one another. We spend time fellowshipping and encouraging each other through a good meal and a Bible study. Then we head out to our perspective workplaces for the week, ready to extend the grace that’s bubbling up inside of us from being together to other people.

Choosing Beautiful Chaos

If you want beautiful chaos in your own life, invite people into your life and into your home who don’t believe like you do, who don’t vote for the same political party as yours, who don’t see life the same way you do. Instead of trying to change any of those differences, simply accept them. Then sit back and watch as God does something amazing as He intertwines their lives with yours and creates beautiful chaos.

**This post is an excerpt from my newest book, Finding Free: 5 Simple Steps to a More Peaceful, Content, and Happy You.

For More Encouragement

For more encouragement on this topic, read Love is Still the Answer.

Free Morning Time Routine Course

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Taking Courses

I am a huge fan of taking courses, especially free courses! If you’ve been reading my blog posts for any amount of time, you know by now that I am super passionate about mornings and about creating a morning time routine. My husband Matt and I are so passionate about it, that we created Manney Resources. We sell resources that help you grow your faith one morning at a time. We believe that if you change your morning, you can grow your faith and change your life. So we create resources to help you do just that, like my Faithfully Stepping Journals.

Ever since I created my journals, I’ve wanted to do a course on developing a morning time routine. However, I was always busy doing something else and just kept pushing it aside. Matt kept pushing me until one day, we just decided to do it.

I am absolutely convinced that our mornings make or break our day. You tell me how you spend your morning, and I will tell you what kind of day you’re going to have.

Learning to Love My Mornings

I didn’t always love mornings. In the first video, I share my story about why and how I got started with my morning time routine, and why it’s so important to me. Now, I can’t function properly if I haven’t done my morning time routine. It keeps me encouraged and grounded every single day. It also gives me something to look forward to when I roll out of bed each morning.

My Morning Time Routine Course

As a busy mom of four, I know how busy life is. I know how precious time is. This course was designed to give you what you need without taking much of your precious time. The course is five videos, and the longest video is under five minutes.

Once you sign up for the course, you will get the first email delivered to you within minutes. After that, you will receive an email every other day with the remaining videos. As I said, the videos are not long and are super practical. In the email for each video, there is a list of resources with links for the resources mentioned in that day’s video.

My hope and prayer is that this course will be an encouragement to you and make you excited about creating your own morning time routine!

Click HERE to sign up for the free course!!

It’s Release Day for My New Fantasy Series

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Release Day

It’s book release day! I’m both excited and nervous at the same time. Darken the Trux, the first book in my new fantasy series, is now live on Amazon! Darken the Trux is now available in ebook and is free in KindleUnlimited! If you pre-ordered the book, it should be in your Kindle. The paperback should be available soon to order.

If you’re new to Faithfully Stepping, you may not know this…but I write fantasy fiction books under my pen name, A. J. Manney. You can check out my books at A. J. Manney Books.

Book Blurb

Ameris is a servant. Darian is an Assassin. Somehow, they need to work together to survive the Trux.

Every fifty years, the reigning king invokes the King’s Challenge. All the best warriors in the land are gathered and sent into the Trux, the forbidden forest, to find the coveted Regisflos flower for the King.

Seventeen-year-old Ameris is thrilled when she gets hired to work at the castle; she’s been planning for this day her entire life. She has her mission—to work her way up the ranks and get close to the King. But nothing could have prepared her for finding out that she will have to accompany one of the warriors into the Trux, and not just any warrior. She finds herself assigned to the most feared warrior of them all—the Assassin. Darian comes from the revered Sicario Clan and became a Master at only twenty years old, the youngest ever to do so.

Darian’s not happy about Ameris coming with him and isn’t going to make it easy on her. But she’s no push-over. She’s not about to let him stand in the way of the mission she has already embarked on. This is just a small setback in the plan that’s already been set in motion. She just has to survive the Trux and make it back to the castle.

Their journey is not nearly as simple as she thinks it will be. Dangers and threats test them at every turn, and she soon discovers that her only hope of survival is to ally with Darian, but he’s doing everything in his power to keep that from happening. Will she be able to break down his barriers and get him to work with her? Only time will tell. She has forty days, and the clock starts now.

——————

Be sure to grab your copy of Darken the Trux!

15 Tips for Making this Marriage Thing Work

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This Picture

Matt and I were at a conference a week ago in Central PA. The kids took this pic of us at a military museum we were visiting. I often think twice about posting pictures like this one of us on social media. I don’t want it to ever come across that Matt and I don’t have any problems—that we just have a perfect marriage. Because we don’t. We fight just like any other couple. Getting frustrated with each other and disappointed are just par for the course. We have to continually work on our marriage.

It’s easy to fall in love, but staying in love takes a lot of work. We know that subconsciously, but often we forget that practically. We take our spouse and our marriage for granted and can really end up in a mess.

Fifteen Years of Marriage

Matt and I will celebrate fifteen years of marriage this year. We definitely don’t have all the answers; I’m pretty sure most of what we know comes from doing things the wrong way! We’ve definitely learned what not to do. From counseling multiple couples for over ten years in our church plant, we have picked up on a few things that every couple struggles with and needs to be reminded of constantly.

15 for Making Your Marriage Work

Yesterday, I asked Matt about this post, and this is what he had to say.

You have to stay intentional in your marriage; it takes a lot of work. The people who seem like marriage is easy for them actually have just worked really hard at it over the years.

So, I asked Matt…What would be some tips on making a marriage work? Here’s a list of fifteen things we came up with in no particular order.

Know yourself and know your spouse. What makes them tick? What ticks them off? A great resource that we use all the time for couples in our church is The Flag Page. Learning your spouse is a lifetime process.
Listen to what your spouse wants and not what they say. This topic is near and dear to Matt’s heart. He actually has a book coming out soon with that title. When your spouse comes at you in frustration or anger, listen not to what they are telling you but what they are trying to get you to understand. Are they saying they need your attention? Are they feeling unloved, scared, fearful, etc?
Schedule a weekly date night. This is hands-down one of the most important things Matt and I do for our marriage. We know that no matter how crazy our week goes, we will connect on Thursday night. I know I will have his undivided attention for that time. Date night has been a staple of our marriage and something we look forward to every week.
Plan a getaway at least once a year for just you and your spouse—no kids. We do this each year around our anniversary. We do fun things like go to The Melting Pot, a new movie, a Christmas concert, etc.
Know what fills up your spouse and what drains them. Then help your spouse do more of what they love and maybe take on more of what drains them.
Know your spouse’s love language. The 5 Love Languages is a great tool for this.
Spend time together—go on walks together, drive together, make meals together, tag along when the other person has errands to run.
Find common interests. Create “shared experiences.” Common interests are what make a bond; that’s what happens when you’re dating. So carry it into your marriage.
Support each other. Support each other’s dreams, hobbies, interests.
Choose love. Every time, choose love. When you want to get angry, when you want to blame…chose love.
Put margin in your schedule. If you’re like ships passing in the night, you can’t connect. Find margin in your schedule to linger over breakfast, watch a movie together, sit and talk.
Put up boundaries. Discuss what’s okay and what’s not. Matt and I decided before we ever said “I do,” that the word divorce would not be a part of our marriage.
Dream together. What could life look like five or ten years from now? What do you both want to happen with your careers, kids, home, retirement, etc?
Laugh. If that means you need to go see a comedian, do it. There’s something about laughing together that draws you together and keeps you young.
Most important of all, be the first to apologize. I can’t tell you how many years passed in our marriage before I was the first to apologize. Don’t be like me. Be the first to say, “I’m sorry.” Forgiveness is the reset button for any marriage.

Choose Your Hard

Ask any married couple, and they will tell you that marriage is hard. Ask any divorced couple, and they will tell you that divorce is hard. We get to choose our hard. Which one will you choose? You have to work hard for your marriage and fight for it because nobody else will!

For More Encouragement

For more on this topic, check out our book, Pillowfights: Handling Marital Conflict.

12 Fall Things that Create Breathing Room for Your Soul

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Fall is the best time to enjoy nature! Sometimes when life gets too heavy and the burdens are too much to bear, the best thing we can do is take a break from it all and get out into nature. We had the chance to do that this week. We drove about three hours away on Tuesday of this week for a conference. The conference was in Central PA, and it was absolutely gorgeous! The leaves were already starting to turn, the mornings were crisp and cool, and the sunrises and sunsets were amazing.

My Fall Video from Yesterday

I made a quick video yesterday that I shared to Facebook. I wasn’t planning on doing a video, as you can tell from my look, but Matt talked me into doing it. It’s just a short clip, but I wanted to share with you what I was seeing.

Nature is like a balm for my soul. When I get stressed, when the burdens get too heavy, when I just need a break, nature gives me that. Fall is the absolute best time of year to get away and enjoy nature—to watch the leaves change, enjoy the cooler weather and crisp mornings, and enjoy pumpkin coffee, apple cider donuts, and all things fall.

12 Fall Things You Can Do

I just wanted to share a few things that I do in fall that brings peace and enjoyment into my fall season and help me to enjoy the beauty of fall.

Go on an overnight somewhere. It doesn’t have to be expensive, and it doesn’t have to be long. Even just 24 hours away can be such a huge blessing. Pick a place that’s surrounded by beautiful nature.
Get up early and go see a sunrise. Grab a coffee so you can be awake to enjoy a beautiful fall sunrise.
Go for a nature walk. Getting out in nature even for just an hour or two can make such a difference. Go somewhere that has lots of trees, that’s away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Find a place that’s quiet, where you can reflect and have quiet time. I’m all about spending time with people and getting together with people, but sometimes you just need some peace and quiet.
Go apple picking. Our family loves doing this. It’s so fun and easy. It gets you out and into nature. You spend time as a family; and when you’re done, you get to enjoy delicious apples.
Grab a pumpkin muffin, apple cider donut, or a coffee and go for a drive. This is so easy and something that we do all the time. It’s especially great if you have little kids and need a break. Put everybody in the car, buckle them in, and give them a device to watch, a book to look at, a coloring book and crayons, or a toy to play with—whatever will keep them busy, so you can enjoy the drive. Drive somewhere that you can see the leaves changing, that’s beautiful to look at, and just enjoy the scenery. Listen to some good music or a podcast.
Pick a Saturday morning and spend some time baking. Bake some pumpkin bread, apple crisp, spice cookies…something that you love for fall. Make extra to take to your neighbors. We’ve done this, and it’s such a blessing. It’s encouragement to your neighbors, but it’s also great for you. You get to spend time as a family doing something for other people. We put on good music and just enjoy the time in the kitchen together.
This one may not be for everybody, but some of you may really enjoy it. Pack up some art supplies and go find a quiet soothing, place that has beautiful nature. Do a chalk pastel drawing or a painting and just relax and enjoy creating art. There are so many free tutorials online. We love Nana from You Are an Artist. She has lots of free fall chalk pastel drawings. They’re not hard; anybody can do them, and they’re fun and easy. If you like creating, if you love art, this one’s for you.
This one is for my fellow book lovers. Go to Barnes & Noble or go to your favorite bookstore and treat yourself to a book. I mostly read books on my Kindle, but there’s something about having a book in hand. Treat yourself to a book, get a coffee or a snack, and go someplace to read. Find a beautiful place and just enjoy some quiet, peaceful time reading.
Go buy yourself a beautiful fall journal. Take it somewhere quiet in nature. Take a good pen, grab a coffee, and just sit and journal. Here’s some questions to answer in your journal: What am I frustrated about right now? What’s going right in my life? What is God doing in my life that’s working for good right now? What am I thankful for? Sometimes journaling gives us perspective and helps to bring clarity when we need it. It helps us figure out where we want to go and what we want to change. It helps get your thoughts down on paper so you can clear your mind and bring breathing room to our soul.
Go to a Panera by yourself and get a nice warm bowl of soup. Take a book to enjoy, a laptop to work on, a journal to write in… anything that brings life to you. Enjoy some good and some quiet time to yourself.
Buy some apples and some blocks of caramel and make caramel apples. It sounds complicated, but it’s really not. It’s nice and easy and something the whole family can enjoy. Making caramel apples doesn’t take a lot of money and doesn’t take a lot of work; so it’s a win-win.
Create a new family fall tradition. It may be discovering a new farm, a new fall treat, pumpkin carving, going to a new area, or discovering a new nature park. Find something new that you can start doing year after year that you can look forward to as a family.

So those are just a few ideas to get you started. Pick a few to try and add to this list. Let me know what you end up doing to bring more peace and breathing room into your fall.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement on this topic, read my post 10 Things You Can Do to Combat Burnout or check out my book: Finding Free: 5 Simple Steps to a More Peaceful, Content, and Happy You.

When Broken Leads to Blessed

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So I tried a new thing this week. I took my weekly blog post and turned it into a video. If you’d rather watch me talk about this week’s post instead of read it, click the link HERE.

Broken to Blessed

One of my favorite things is reading a story in my Bible that I’ve read and heard hundreds of times and getting something brand new from it. This happened this past week. I was reading about the miracle of the little boy who gives his lunch to Jesus. Jesus takes his five loaves of bread and 2 fishes and uses it to feed over 5,000 people. This week when I read through the story, I stopped and underlined the actions that Jesus did.

Jesus said, “Bring them here.” Then he had the people sit on the grass. He took the five loaves and two fish, lifted his face to heaven in prayer, blessed, broke, and gave the bread to the disciples. The disciples then gave the food to the congregation. They all ate their fill. They gathered twelve baskets of leftovers. About five thousand were fed.
Matthew 14:18-21 MSG

Those words kept my attention. I couldn’t stop thinking about them and wondering…Is that how God still does miracles today? I wrote those words in my journal; then I spent time looking up each word’s origins. When I studied these words and verses, it gave me a whole new insight into this miracle that I’ve never thought of before.

Blessing the Distribution

In the miracle of the loaves and fishes, the bread had to be broken first before it could be distributed. Jesus didn’t first multiply the food and then pass it out. He could have, easily. Think about it. He could have snapped his finger or said a command, and suddenly there would have been all the bread and fish needed to feed the large crowd. But that’s not how he did it. No, the increase came as he was passing it out; it came in the distribution of the bread.

The same thing happened in the Old Testament with the woman and the oil. Remember the story where Elisha told the woman to gather all the vessels she could find? Then he instructed her to pour the oil into the vessels. Once again, the oil didn’t immediately appear. No, the oil increased as she poured it out.

Matthew Henry, in his commentary, says, “Thus grace grows by being acted, and, while other things perish in the using, spiritual gifts increase in the using.”

God Blesses the Giving

So what does that mean? The principle is that God blesses the distribution. As we give of ourselves, God gives us more energy and strength. When we share our food and money with others, God blesses it and makes it go further. When we share our gifts with others—writing, painting, speaking, humor, hospitality…God blesses it in the lives of others.

It doesn’t mean that God blesses in a lump sum up front, but rather God increases our reach in the lives of others. As we pour out ourselves and our gifts, God blesses it and increases it. We want the blessing in a heap, at the beginning. But that’s not how God works. He works over the course of time, blessing as we give ourselves to others.

God Blesses Your Broken

For me personally, I am an author and a blogger. I would love for my “art, my craft” to reach hundreds of woman and encourage them and help them right now. Yet, that’s not how God uses me. He uses my broken, my distribution. He uses one of my blog posts in one woman’s life, one of my devotionals in another woman’s life, my book in somebody else altogether. My life is being poured into others a little tiny bit at a time. God blesses the pouring out. I may not see it right away; I may never see it. But others can be filled and blessed by me sharing myself and my art. My only job is to continue to pour myself out into others and let God use my broken and turn it to blessed.

How are you pouring into the lives of others today?

For More Encouragement

I am currently reading A Million Little Ways: Uncover the Art You Were Made to Live by Emily Freeman as a part of my morning time routine. It took me a little bit to get into it, but now I’m loving it! Her book goes hand-in-hand with this post. If you’re looking for a great read, check it out.

Understanding Each Other

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Understanding Each Other

When I see this picture of my two little girls, it makes me smile. Mostly, because these moments are few and far between. You never know with these two. Maggie and Macey are the best of friends at times and the worst of enemies at other times. One of the things we come back to time and time again with these two, as well as with our older kids is this…You need to be understanding of each other.

When our kids fight, it’s because neither of them is willing to give. They have to learn how to accept the other person for who they are. They also have to figure out who they are and learn to work with that.

Understanding Ourselves

So many of us struggle in relationships because we don’t fully understand ourselves. God gives us helpful insight into this problem in the book of Matthew.

If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me.
Matthew 10:39 MSG

If my focus is primarily on myself, I’m never going to figure myself out. It seems backwards, but God says, “Focus on me instead. Get to know me.” When you focus on God, you will actually find both yourself and God.

The clearer we see God, the clearer we see ourselves. God says he made us in his very image. So it would make sense that the closer we get to God and understanding him, the closer we get to understanding how he made us. Only then, can we begin to understand other people.

Understanding God

How do you get close to God? How can we begin to understand him?

5 Ways to Get Close to God

Start every day by spending time with him. I do this through my morning time routine.
Listen to uplifting, encouraging Christian music. Make a list on Spotify of your favorite worship songs. Then listen to them throughout your day. Listening to Godly music can bring a sense of peace and a realization of God’s goodness into our daily routine.
Be in church on Sundays. I know we can worship from home, and we’ve all had to do it because of covid. But if you can, try to be in church on Sundays. What you can’t get at home is the time of worship music and the fellowship with other believers.
Read encouraging and uplifting books that will help you to draw closer to God. I do this as a part of my morning time routine. You can find a list of books I recommend here.
Spend time with other believers who will encourage you in your faith. You can do this by joining or starting a small group. Or just find a friend or two who can encourage you in your faith and meet up with them once a week or month for coffee. Good, strong friendships can help to keep us moving forward in our faith.

The more time we spend getting to know God, the more we begin to understand ourselves. Only once we understand ourselves can we begin to understand other people and better our relationships.

For More Encouragement

Check out Manney Resources for resources to help you grow your faith one morning at a time or read Developing a Faith that’s Strong Enough to Stand On.

There’s Beauty in the Unmaking

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Beauty in the Unmaking

There’s beauty in the unmaking of something. I saw this tree a few days ago when I was out walking and snapped a picture. My daughter asked me why I took the picture. To her it was just an ugly tree losing its bark. To me, it was a beautiful picture of what could be.

At first glance, the tree does look kind of ugly. In this moment, it’s a tree that doesn’t command our interest. It’s in the middle of undergoing the changing process. But when all the bark comes off, it will be beautiful in its natural form.

God’s Work of Unmaking Us

I feel at times like this tree—God is unmaking me and unraveling me, piece by piece. Sometimes I feel like by the time he’s done, I won’t have anything left. Sometimes it’s painful. The more God reveals my weaknesses and changes me, the more I feel broken and unusable. And yet there’s a beauty in the unmaking, well maybe not in the unmaking, but in the finished product. There’s beauty in seeing something in its true nature—raw, unfiltered, without makeup, no touch ups… just as it really is.

That’s what we look for in others, right? Openness, trueness, authenticity. Yet, why is it so hard to produce it in our own lives? Because it’s painful. It’s painful to be stripped bare; it’s painful to be unmade. Yet when God wants to use us, this is exactly what he does.

Real-Life Examples

Look at some of the examples from the Bible—Jonah, Peter, Elijah, and Moses. Jonah was thrown overboard a ship and forgotten. Peter denied Christ and lost his reputation and credibility. Moses was left on the backside of a desert, seemingly forgotten for 40 years. And Elijah hid and was fed from birds while trying to escape for his life for a time.

These men were stripped of their title, rank, credibility, and pride. Only then did God decide He decide could use them. Jonah was used to preach one of the greatest revivals in history. Peter preached at Pentecost and thousands came to Christ. Elijah battled against the prophets of Baal and won, and Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt and through the Red Sea on dry land. The timing was different for each of them. It was 3 days for Jonah, 50 days for Peter, an unknown time for Elijah, and 40 years for Moses. (Here’s an important side note- don’t compare your story to anybody else’s. It won’t help! God works in each of our lives differently. We can’t compare our story to anybody else’s story or experience.)

Coming to the End of Ourselves

It’s only when we come to the end of ourselves that we find God’s grace is enough. When we are at our lowest, when we are at our weakest…that’s when God can use us. His strength becomes our strength.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
I Corinthians 12:9,10 KJV

If you’re in a place today where you feel like God is unraveling you or unmaking you, I get it. I’m there myself. Don’t give up. Instead, release yourself to the process. Cling to Him during the process and trust him to get you through it.

Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.
Psalm 55:22 NLT

This unmaking of you won’t be the breaking of you. Instead, it will produce something far more beautiful.

For More Encouragement

For more encouragement on this topic, check out my book, The Hidden Pain: When You Fear God is No Longer Blessing Your Life.

What’s in Your Hand?

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What’s in your hand that God can use?

Often, I talk to women who want to do something more with their lives. They feel like God wants them to do something, but they are unsure of what. One of the simplest ways to answer that question is to look at your gifts, talents, abilities, and passions. What do you already do or have that God could use? A good example of this is Moses.

What was in Moses’ Hand?

What did Moses have in his hand? A rod. A simple tool, something he used every day. It wasn’t extraordinary, and there was nothing special about it. Yet, in Moses’ hand, God used it to accomplish his purpose and do something amazing.

Moses objected, “They won’t trust me. They won’t listen to a word I say. They’re going to say, ‘God? Appear to him?
Hardly!’” So God said, “What’s that in your hand?”
“A staff.”
Exodus 4:1,2 MSG

God used Moses and his staff time and time again to show God’s power. When Moses threw it on the ground, it became a serpent. When he held the rod over the Nile River, the river turned to blood. Moses used the staff to bring frogs out of the river, lice from the ground, hail from heaven, and locusts. When he held it over the Red Sea, the waters parted before the children of Israel and they walked across on dry land. In Moses’ hand, his rod was a simple tool. However, when God touched it it became an incredible conduit of power.

What’s in Your Hand?

What do you have in your hand that God can use to do something great? To you, it may seem simple; but in God’s hand, it becomes something incredible. Maybe think of it this way: What do you have in your hand that God has given you that you can use to help make someone’s life easier? What’s in your hand that you can use to encourage somebody else? It could be a…

a pen
a paintbrush
a spatula
a calculator
an instrument
a ruler
a handbook
a microscope
a phone
an espresso machine
a volleyball
a camera
a paint roller
a sewing machine
a sketchbook
a Bible
a vase
a duster
a laptop
a printer
a stethoscope
a bridle
a journal

Using Your Own Unique Gifting

God works within our personality, abilities, and talents. He’s not going to ask you to travel to a foreign country and help care for kids with medical needs if you’re a photographer. He’s going to use someone who is trained in the medical field.

I write books, both Christian inspirational and fantasy fiction. My friend Keya makes candles. Aiesha, one of my friends, makes beauty products. My sister teaches piano, and my sister-in-law manages a Starbucks store. Kelley, another of my friends, runs a pony camp each summer for kids. My friend Jen manages a day care. Each of these women are so vastly different and yet each one of them is using their natural gifting, talents, and abilities to accomplish what God has for them.

How do you get ready for God to use you?

Be willing to try. You can do anything if you’re at least willing to try. Your first attempt may not be successful; maybe your second and third attempt won’t be either. But you have to be willing to try. God can redirect you as you go.
Be ready to start. Pulling the trigger is the hardest step. Once God shows you what to do, go for it. Don’t let excuses stop you from moving forward.
Don’t quit. It may not be successful right away, but that’s okay. As long as you don’t quit, God can use you. There is only one guarantee: If you quit, you will not get to see what God could have done and accomplished through you.

What’s in your hand today that God wants to use to make a difference in this world?

For More Encouragement

For more encouragement, read my post Six Steps to Finding God’s Purpose for Your Life.

Don’t Apologize for Being You

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Sorry, Not Sorry

Matt has this crazy, loud laugh. When something cracks him up, he just lets lose. It doesn’t matter where we are or who we are with. It doesn’t bother me now, but it used to. When we first got married, I can’t tell you how many times I shushed him or kicked him under the table when we were out to dinner or at other people’s houses. It was embarrassing to me, and I thought in my immaturity that it should be embarrassing to him.

The fact is, it didn’t bother him at all. Over a decade later, it still doesn’t bother him. I am embarrassed to admit I even confronted him about it once. I said something dumb about being a little quieter, about not bothering other people, and other stuff that just showed my immaturity and stupidity. As you can imagine, it didn’t go over very well.

My Focus was All Wrong

The problem was I was focused on me. I am introverted and don’t like extra attention on me or my family. So, I will go out of my way to avoid any extra attention. I thought that Matt should be like that too. If you know my husband Matt, you probably just laughed out loud. Matt is the exact opposite of that. Matt loves attention. The more there is, the more he performs. He’s pretty much a “sorry, not sorry” kind of guy; he’s just not going to apologize for being who he is.

What I didn’t realize early into our marriage was that is a strength for my husband. Him being able to throw his head back and laugh and not care who’s watching is something I desperately needed more of in my life. In those early years, I was so focused on doing the right thing, saying the right thing, wearing the right thing, that I was almost paralyzed from doing anything. I needed Matt’s fun side; I just didn’t realize that.

Now, I understand, appreciate, and love the fun side of Matt. It’s what makes him a fun dad to our kids, a great husband to me, and a wonderful pastor. He is relatable to people, and people love that.

Don’t Apologize for Being You

I realized at some point that I was trying to change Matt’s personality. That wasn’t my job or my place. God created him exactly the way he did for the tasks he has for him. I’m so glad my husband didn’t listen to me. He breathes life into our family every single day with his humor and fun-loving side. If he would have changed for me, our family wouldn’t be what it is today.

Now, my extended family teases me that I laugh hysterically at anything Matt says or does. I do. I finally let my pride go and my sense of what was “appropriate” and can enjoy laughing with Matt. We have the best time laughing and having fun together as a family. He doesn’t apologize for being him, and I don’t apologize for him either.

Matt has taught me an invaluable lesson- don’t apologize for being you. This is something that I believe a lot of women struggle with, myself included.

Just Be You

I want to remind you of an incredible truth. You are created exactly the way God wanted to create you. There is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing you need to change. Don’t apologize for being exactly how God created you. However God has created you and crafted your personality, use it to help the people around you.

Learning who you are is freeing. You don’t have to hide anymore. You can boldly stand before God and the people in your life because you are okay with how God created you. That kind of a woman is unstoppable.

When you discover who you really are, don’t hide that from the world. Show up as you. Own the personality God has given you. He didn’t make any mistakes when He created you. He’s not ashamed of His creation. It’s time for us to stop acting like we are ashamed of the way God created us.

Be the Best Version of Yourself

Be the best version of you so you can be that for somebody else. If God created you strong, be strong for the people in your life who are not strong. Be strong for them. If God designed you to have a big heart to love and care for others, then do that. Love the people around you. Take care of those who are hurt and need someone to help them out. If God created you to be a leader, then step into that position. Lead the people around you. Be the kind of leader that does right by their people.

Whatever you do, don’t apologize for how God created you! Step into that role and be the best you, you can be!

Excerpt from Finding Free

This post is an excerpt from my newest book, Finding Free: 5 Simple Steps to a More Peaceful, Happy, and Content You. If you enjoyed this excerpt, check out my book on Amazon or from Manney Resources.

For More Encouragement

For more Encouragement on this topic, read my post 4 Life Lessons You Can Learn from a Potter.