Names are so incredibly powerful. I didn’t really understand that concept until I began writing fiction books. It’s amazing the difference a name can make. I spend a lot of time thinking of names for my characters, because I have in mind everything about the character and I have to find the perfect name to suite them.
For instance, if I want a strong, male protector sort of a character in a fantasy world with swords and castles and horses, the name Bob is just not going to work in this context. There’s nothing wrong with the name Bob; it just isn’t going to work. The name Braenin works so much better in this instance. (I may or may not be working on my next fiction book; which is where I got this name.)
There is incredible power behind a name, especially the names of God. One of the goals Matt and I have is to create a devotional of the names of God. There is something about studying the names of God, especially in their original Hebrew language, that helps us to better understand God and his relationship with us.
The Names of God
I was reading in II Samuel a few weeks ago and read a few of God’s names with descriptions. I love it when God’s word defines itself.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior ;my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies.
II Samuel 22:2-4
When we get overwhelmed or feel alone, we need to remember that God is everything we need. His names represent that. In these verses, he is our protection, place of safety, and our promise of good to come.
Kintsugi is a popular way of fixing cracked or broken pottery. Kintsugi finds its root in Japanese culture. When a piece of pottery cracks or even breaks, they use gold lacquer to fill in the cracks. The piece becomes usable once again, and the piece ends up being more beautiful than it was in its original form. Not only that, but it creates a unique, one-of-a-kind piece of art.
This type of art reflects how the Japanese feel about life and humanity. The Japanese use Kintsugi as a metaphor for life. They see people as beautiful even if flawed.
A Metaphor for Life
Kintsugi is such a great metaphor for the Christian life. We often feel like we can’t be used by God because we are too broken, yet broken is exactly the kinds of people God uses. God not only can use broken people, he actually chooses broken people to use.
Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you.Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important.As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.
I Corinthians 1:26-29 NLT
God Uses Broken People
God doesn’t choose to use those who have it all together. He doesn’t choose the wealthy, the successful, the strong, the smart…No, he chooses broken people who simply know that they need him more than anything.
Going through the motions doesn’t please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.
Psalm 51:16,17 MSG
If you feel broken today, I have good news for you. God can use you. If you feel shattered, God can put you back together. God is looking for people who want to be used even with imperfections to be a source of light and beauty to the world around them.
Sometimes it seems like life would be easier if we could just write our own story, or copy somebody else’s story for our life. Instead of waiting, if we could just force God’s hand to make things happen, surely that would be better than what we’re stuck with right now.
We know that God writes our story. We know the verses, we know the sayings…but when push comes to shove, life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to. It’s really hard to see how it’s all going to work together for good.
Hard Conversations
I’ve had a few conversations with friends lately that were painful…conversations nobody wants to have. Hard conversations. Things like—what do you do when your spouse withholds his love from you? What do you do when your spouse cheats on you? How do you keep going forward when nothing seems to be working out? How do you trust God when it seems like he keeps failing you?
I used to think I had all the answers; that was before I learned what real life looked like. Real life is dirty and messy and full of questions. It’s not all neat and wrapped up with a bow that has a neatly transcribed verse on the side of the box and a pithy saying like “let go and let God” written on the top. No, life is full of mistakes, regrets, failures, and messes. It doesn’t always work out the way we think it should.
Things Don’t Always Work Out
No matter how much we pray, sometimes we still lose the job, we can’t pay the bill, we don’t have enough money for that present, the breakup still happens, our spouse still hurts us, a friend breaks our heart, the loved one still dies, and on and on the list goes.
I’m sure you could add your own heartbreak. Often, it feels like life would be easier if we could just force our own breakthrough. If we could superimpose God’s will for our will and get things moving, it would really help.
People Who Didn’t Wait
I can’t help but think about the people in the Bible who simply gave up too early. If only they could have waited just a little bit longer.
I think of Saul. He waited and waited for Samuel to show up to offer the sacrifice, but Samuel was late. Saul got impatient and decided to do it himself. The Bible says that as he was offering the sacrifice, Samuel showed up. If Saul would have waited just a few minutes longer, he wouldn’t have missed God’s best. What did it cost him? The kingdom. God was so displeased with Saul’s disobedience that he took the kingship from him and gave it to David.
Another example is Abraham. God told him he would have a son, but he wasn’t content to wait on God. He decided to write his own breakthrough into the story and royally messed up all of history. Because he didn’t wait for God to bless him and Sara with a baby but instead slept with Sara’s servant, Ishmael was born. A few years later, Abraham and Sara had Isaac. Ishmael’s descendants and Isaac’s descendants are still at war today.
Those Who Waited
Conversely, we see God’s hand of blessing on Joseph who waited through years of bad treatment and harsh consequences before God broke through. In the end, God wrote a beautiful story for him.
David waited for nearly fifteen years from the time he was anointed king to when he actually became king of Israel. He stayed faithful to God and didn’t waver from God’s path. In the end, his story played out beautifully.
Wait for God to Write Your Story
We get impatient and want to write our own story, but we can’t. Our story won’t look nearly as beautiful as the one God is writing; it will simply be a copy and pasted version of somebody else’s story.
We have to choose to wait for God to write our story. Wait for him to give us our own. I promise it will be more beautiful than anything we could have written for ourselves.
I wanted to share with you a great gift idea. You may remember a few weeks ago when I posted a blog post about choosing a word of the year. If you didn’t get a chance to read it, you can read that post HERE. I took the quiz and chose fulfilled for my word for the year. My daughter took the quiz as well; her word for the year is beloved.
When we went to my sister-in-law’s house this past Sunday, she gave Madison and I each a gift. Madison’s gift was a metal bookmark with the word beloved engraved on it. It’s beautiful and perfect, because Madison loves to read but is always losing her spot in her books. Consequently, I am forever telling her to use a bookmark.
My gift was a beautiful mug with the word fulfilled on it. I instantly loved it. It’s perfect! It’s the newest component of my morning time routine. Coffee every morning is a must, and drinking that coffee from a mug that has my word to focus on for the year? Perfection.
I asked for the links from her to be able to share with my friends. This is the link for the bookmark, and this is the link for the mug.
These are just neat ideas to help us keep our word of the year before our eyes all year long. They also make great gifts.
More Ideas
I was thinking and came up with a few more neat ideas of personalized products you could make for the year with your theme word on it.
tshirt
a poster
magnet for the fridge
wristband
cell phone cover
a tumbler
I think all of these would be fun. If you end up creating a word of the year product, be sure to let me know! Give me a shout-out on social media!
Sometimes the future seems so far away. I read this quote from The Next Right Thing by Emily Freeman. “It’s a slow work building a life. But the future always comes.” We look at our kids, at whatever age they are now, and feel like the future when they leave us is so incredibly far away. Yet, we know in our hearts that it will be here and gone in the blink of an eye.
Barbies, legos, trucks and cars, crayons and markers will give way to phones, wallets, keys, and textbooks. It’s hard to see that right now when I step on a lego in the middle of the night or when I can’t see the floor in my girls’ room because it’s covered in the world that they’ve created for their Barbies. Little girls twirling around and giggling in princess dresses will give way to running out the door in a uniform for work. Master lego building by my boy will give way to long work hours and college classes.
Just to keep it real, this is the photo I snapped when I went into my girls’ room this morning. Yikes! (See, all the Barbie mentions are not metaphorical)
Looking Past What’s Before Me
These moments won’t last forever, and I try to remind myself of that. Because in the here and now, it’s easy to lose sight of that. In the here and now, it seems so much more important to get my kids to pick up their room, to make them finish their math homework, to get them to stop fighting and arguing, to get them to leave me alone for just five minutes so I can go to the bathroom or take a shower. Right now, all I can see is the mess before my eyes that wasn’t there ten minutes ago.
Yet, these precious few years are the gift God’s given to me. Yes, it’s a gift; even though it may not feel like that on a Tuesday morning when the laundry’s overflowing, the kids are late to start school, there’s endless fighting, tears over schoolwork, no milk in the fridge for cereal, and a mess everywhere I look. It’s in these moments that the future seems so incredibly far away. It seems so intangible. Yet, it won’t always be that way.
Don’t Look at What’s Before You
Soon, my kids will leave our home one by one. They will head off in different directions, some of them never to live at home again. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that in those days when it’s quiet and the house is perfectly clean that I will long for the crazy chaos that is my kids. That mess of Barbies all over the floor? I will wish for that once more. I will wish for my table to be covered in the latest Lego masterpiece. The quiet will make me long for the sounds of my kids because it’s the sound of love, of family.
So, if you’re feeling weary today, young Mom. If you’re feeling like your house will never be clean. The kids will never learn to pick up after themselves or stop fighting. You will never be caught up on laundry in this life or the next, and you would give anything for just an hour of uninterrupted quiet time…Then let me encourage you today. Don’t see things for how they are right now. Don’t focus on the mess, the noise, the chaos, the frustration, and all the things that are wrong. Instead, focus on the faces in front of you. Count down how many years you have left with each of those precious faces and choose to make today count.
The Days Are Long, but the Years are Short
I’m saying this to myself today, because it’s January. The days are long and cold, my kids are cooped up inside and have been cranky and fighting with each other every day, all day long. Attitudes have been raging, and frustrations have been mounting. I need to be reminded of what’s really important. I’ve heard this said about child-rearing. “The days are long, but the years are short.” Oh how much wisdom there is in that saying!
What’s really important to remember is that I have six years left with my oldest. That’s 72 weeks or 2,291 days. When put like that, I might be able to overlook his intense frustration for Math today and just help him get through it. I can focus more on hugging him and letting him know I love him, rather than correcting his bad handwriting. When I run the numbers for each of my kids, they are surprisingly small. Six years, seven years, eleven years, and twelve years don’t seem nearly long enough. So I must choose to make the most of today. That’s all I can do, yet that’s the greatest thing I can do today.
The Future Isn’t So Far Away
The future looks so far away when I look at today, but it will be here before I can blink an eye. The future isn’t all that far away. “Building a life is a slow work. But the future always comes.” It will be here before we know it. Will I look back on these years with my kids with regret? Will I wish we would have taken more trips to the park, played more games together, laughed more, talked more, done more crazy fun stuff? Or will I look back and nod and say, “We built an amazing life together.”
I read some great books in 2021, and I also read a few duds. I haven’t started a non-fiction book and not finished it in a while; but this year, I did that with two books. I used to feel like I couldn’t do that, especially when I bought the book. But I have realized that life is too short to read bad books. Right? There is nothing worse than getting slogged down in a book that does nothing for you. So now, I give myself permission to not finish the book. It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does, the next book is usually great and I get right back at it.
My Favorite Read of 2021
I read so many amazing books, but if I had to choose a favorite, it would be The Turquoise Table by Kristin School. Not only is the concept so good and something that Matt and I are putting into practice, the book itself is beautiful. It’s hardcover and full-color. It has beautiful pictures and recipes as well. It’s a win all-around and is written so well. It’s all about hospitality and how you can use hospitality to reach out to your neighbors, specifically by being front-yard neighbors. I highly recommend this book and am calling it my favorite read of 2021.
My Second Most Favorite Read of 2021
My second most favorite book was When Woman Pray by T. D. Jakes. I love books by T. D. Jakes; they are so inspirational and moving, as well as convicting. But this book was a little different in that it was almost like a Bible study as well. He dives into the lives of ten different women from the Bible and really pulls out details that we miss often miss. I loved this book and highly recommend it.
Those are my top two reads; here’s the rest of them.
My Top Ten Reads of 2021
Creative
A Million Little Ways by Emily Freeman. This book is great for any creative. It took a little while to get going, but I really enjoyed it after that. It’s all about being wired for creativity, and I love that.
The Turquoise Table by Kristin Schell. This is a great book with hospitality tips and tricks, recipes, and ideas for doing things with and for your neighbors.
Spiritual/Inspirational
You are the Girl for the Job by Jess Connolly. This is a great inspirational read if you need to be reminded of God’s purpose for your life. Jess doesn’t pull any punches, and I love that. This book challenges you to be reminded that God chose you for a purpose, and you need to step into that purpose.
Kind is the New Classy by Candace Cameron Bure. Candace is such a classy person, and that obviously comes through in her book. I enjoyed reading about her life and being reminded how just being kind can make all the difference in the world.
When Woman Pray by T. D. Jakes is an in-depth look into the lives of ten women from the Bible.
Practical
Rhythms of Renewal by Rebekah Lyons. This book surprised me. I actually thought it might be a little boring, but it definitely wasn’t. I love all her practical advice on the rhythms of life like sabbath day, eating, exercising, schedules, purpose, and more.
Books with Lots of Stories
Have More Fun by Mandy Arioto. As you can probably guess from the title, this was just a fun read overall. I really enjoyed her writing as she covers ways we can have more fun in every area of our lives. She also has great ideas in breakout boxes.
Love Lives Here by Maria Goff. I love books by the infamous Bob Goff, Maria’s husband. So when this book came out, I knew I would love it. I wasn’t wrong. It’s written with vulnerability and comes straight from a Mama’s heart. It’s heart-warming and thought-provoking.
Dealing with Our Thoughts
Get Out of Your Head by Jennie Allen. This is such a needed book in today’s world. Jennie’s encouragement to us to get out of our heads and start living the life God has for us is both challenging and encouraging.
Don’t Overthink It by Anne Bogel. This book is great on a practical level. Someone bought it for me as a gift, and I really didn’t think I needed to read it. But boy was I wrong; I didn’t realize how much of my life I spent overthinking things instead of accomplishing things.
Fitting in More Reading
If you want to read more books this year but don’t know how to bring that plan to fruition, here’s the system I use to fit reading into my daily routine. I simply read for ten minutes a day after I read my Bible, journal, and pray. I do this as a part of my morning time routine. You can read my post, but here’s the simple system I use every morning for Bible reading, journaling, praying, and reading books. Matt and I call it 30-to-THRIVE.
It’s that simple. In just thirty minutes a day, you can do all of those things—read your Bible or devotional, journal, pray, and read. If you stick with that system even just five days a week, you will be amazed at how many books you read by the end of the year!
For More Encouragement
Looking for even more great books? Be sure to visit Manney Resources to check out the books my husband and I have written.
Choosing a word for the year has become really popular over the last few years. I love the concept of it. I think it’s a great idea, but I have a confession to make. I’ve never actually done it. To me, picking one word for the year seems so daunting. I’m just not bright enough to be able to pick one word to summarize my entire year. I admire people who can, though.
However, that all changed when my mother-in-law sent me an article this week with a link for a quiz for finding your word for the year. It intrigued me, so I took the quiz. It was only seven questions. At the end, it gave me a word for the year, based on my answers to the questions. The word was fulfilled. I love that.
I had my ten-year-old daughter take the test, and her word was beloved. I love that too, and it’s perfect for her for the year.
The Power of Words
There is such power behind words. Words can be beautiful and uplifting or cruel and degrading. It’s all in the words we choose and how we use them. Solomon understood this when he wrote about the power of the tongue in Proverbs.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
Proverbs 18:21 KJV
Here’s another way to put it.
Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.
Proverbs 18:21 MSG
I think picking a word to come back to all year long can help us keep coming back to what is important to us and what we want to focus on. For me, I want to focus on the word fulfilled. I want to remember this year when I get discouraged, that God meets my every need. I have more than enough. I am so incredibly blessed. I love the life that I am living, and it so fulfills me. I want to remember these words from Psalm 23:1.
The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.
Psalm 23:1
Choosing Your Word for the Year
Maybe you already have your word for the year. If you do, just disregard this post. If however, you are like me, and it seems too daunting to find one for the year, I hear you. I suggest trying this quiz from DaySpring. It may be just the thing you need to help you find your word for the year.
Once I took the quiz and received my word for the year, it no longer seemed so daunting. Other words started coming to mind—words that inspired me. So I made a list of words for this year. I chose each of these words and think any of them would make a great word for the year. Take a look at them below and see if maybe one of these words could be your word for the year.
Hopefully, this post encourages you to pick a word for this year. If you do, tag me on social media and let me know what it is. I would love to hear it! Happy word hunting!
For Extra Encouragement
If you are looking to have a great year this year, I believe the best way you can do that is by spending time every morning with God, first-thing. The best way I have found to do this is through my morning time routine. Check out that post for ideas on starting your own morning time routine. If you like videos, check out my free Morning Time Routine Course. If you need resources to get started, be sure to check out our devotionals, journals, and books, available from Manney Resources.
As we get close to Christmas, shopping is in high-gear. If you’re anything like me, you get the easy gifts first, but soon you’re left with the people that are harder to buy for. When that happens, sometimes you just need some ideas. So here’s a list I made of some of my favorite things to give you some ideas.
For Hospitality
Instant Pot Milk Frother I bought this frother about a week ago for our ladies’ holiday party at church so we could make coffee drinks. It is my absolute most favorite thing! I use it every day to make froth for my coffee. It can steam milk, froth it, and also make cold froth for iced coffee. It’s amazing and a great gift for the coffee lover in your life.
3-Tier Wood Tray I use this tray all the time. It’s not huge, but it can easily hold cupcakes, cookies, candies and more and is a nice addition to any table for a party.
Wood Charcuterie Board Somebody gave me the charcuterie board I have right now. I couldn’t find it online, but this one is similar. I use my board all the time to put meats and cheeses and crackers on.
For the Home
Hot Air Popcorn Maker We use our popcorn maker all the time for family movie nights. Again, this isn’t the exact one I have, but it’s similar. Popcorn makers make great gifts. They come in lots of fun colors, and you can get popcorn flavor shakers to go with them for a great gift.
Plastic Bowls from Target These bowls are super cheap, but are great for families with kids. We love ours and use them all the time. They are extra wide, so they make great popcorn bowls.
Crockpot I currently have two large crockpots, similar to this one. I use both of them all the time. A crockpot is always a great gift, especially if you can get one on sale.
For the Office/Desk
Papermate Colored Pens These are my favorite pens for journaling; they also make great gifts because they’re so colorful.
Personalized Planners from Erin Condren I love Erin Condren planners. She has so many cute ones to choose from. I love them because you can get them personalized. They make great gifts!
For Personal
Impress Nails Whether for a gift or for yourself for the holidays, Impress nails are great for the economical person who doesn’t want to spend money on getting their nails done. I use these all the time. They’re wonderful. Just get a bottle of nail glue to go with in case one gets loose or falls off. They have so many fun colors and designs.
Medallion Purse I have this purse in two colors. They usually go on sale several times a year for as low as $15. I love it, and I love all the colors it comes in. You can also find this one in floral.
Etsy Shops
Emily Lane Clay Designs Emily makes beautiful hand-crafted clay earrings. I have many pairs of them and absolutely love them! They make great gifts!
Masterpiece Candles My friend, Keya, hand makes each of her candles. They smell soo good. She changes out the scents during the year. Of her holiday collection, Candy Cane is my personal favorite. Great gifts!
Christmas Theme
Christmas Sleigh Soap Holder I saw this at Bath and Body Works and thought it would make such a great gift, paired with a hand soap.
Christmas Prism App This is not a gift idea, but I wanted to throw it in. It’s a free app that you download that shows you the best Christmas lights wherever you’re at. We use this every time we go look at lights.
Graphic Holiday Tees Maurices always has the best holiday tees. Matt got me one for Thanksgiving and one for Christmas. I love both of them! They fit so nicely and are so soft.
Games
Here’s just a few of the games we like to play.
One Night Ultimate Werewolf This is a fun game for a crowd or a party. We love this one, and so do the kids.
Listicles This game is another good group game. It’s kind of similar to Categories but simpler.
Five Crowns This is a great card game for two or more players. Matt and I enjoy playing this one, just the two of us on date night.
CodeNames Our kids enjoy the Disney version of this game. It’s a great family game.
Rummikub This is one of my favorite games. I like the challenge of trying to play the table and make things work.
Hopefully that gives you a few ideas. For More ideas, check out my Favorite Things from last year.
There is nothing more powerful than a well-written worship song. We got to go see The Chosen Christmas special at the theater this week. The first hour consisted of music performed by Christian artists. Several of our favorite artists were featured like King and Country, We the Kingdom, Phil Wickham, Jordan Feliz, Cain, Maverick City, and more. We really enjoyed it.
The second part was the actual Christmas episode. It was so well done, of course, and incredibly moving. It was a look into the night Jesus was born, retold and remembered through Mary’s eyes after Jesus has already gone back to Heaven. The team creating The Chosen is so incredibly talented, and I love the work they are doing! They always bring out details that you miss when you simply read the account in the Bible.
The Right Kind of Worship
Since watching that episode, I’ve been thinking a lot about Mary. This time of year always makes me reminiscent to think of what it would have been like to be Mary. I was reading in my morning time this morning, and I read these verses.
It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.
John 4:23,24 MSG
I read these verses, and that phrase your worship must engage your spirit got my attention. What does it mean that our worship has to engage our spirit? I think it means to engage our spirit means that our heart is completely engaged in the activity. It’s the difference between singing and not paying attention and singing with tears in our eyes because the song moves something inside of us. These verses then go on to say that God is looking for those who are simply and honestly themselves before God when they worship.
Thinking about Mary
Maybe that’s one of the reasons Mary was chosen. Could it be that she figured out how to worship God with her spirit, bringing her honest self before God? How else would she have been able to respond to the angel’s announcement with words of worship?
As soon as the angel leaves her, Mary makes her way to her cousin Elizabeth’s house. As soon as she gets there, Mary bursts into a song of worship to God. The words flow beautifully and elegantly from her tongue. That was her form of worship to God. I don’t know if she spoke the words or sang them, but the result was the same. She worshipped God with her honest self.
Three Ways to Worship God this Christmas Season
This Christmas, in the midst of the hustle and bustle, we need to find the time to worship God with our true selves. We need to find a time to worship, engaging our spirit.
There are three ways we can do that this Christmas season:
Engage in the Christmas story with others. Don’t spend your worship alone this holiday season; bring others along with you. In our growth group this past week, somebody asked a question about the Christmas story, and we spent the next probably thirty minutes talking about the intricacies of that night. We talked about what caught our attention and what made that night so special to us. It ended up being a wonderful time of worship.
Worship God through music. This is one of the easiest ways to worship.
I know at our church, Christmas is one of the best times of year to worship God through the music service. It’s different from other times of the year in that every Christmas song is about the birth of Jesus and so wholly focused on him. I think some of the best worship songs are Christmas songs. It’s so hard to pick just a few, but here’s a list of a few of my favorite Christmas worship songs:
This holiday season, let’s find ways to incorporate worship that engages our spirit, that puts our heart into it and see if that doesn’t change this holiday season for us!
God used an event this last week to remind me that perspective changes everything and not to make a judgement call to early. We just finished a trip to Colorado. That’s no small feat. Without stops, it’s a twenty-five hour trip without stops from where we live in Pennsylvania to where my parents live in Colorado. Of course, that’s not possible; we always have stops. We usually take a trip to see my parents in June, but this year that didn’t happen. First of all, Macey landed in the ICU during the first week of June, when we were supposed to be traveling. Secondly, my mom asked me to speak at a ladies’ conference their church hosted in November.
So we found ourselves making the trip to Colorado in November this year instead of during the summer. We had a wonderful time seeing family and having a good time as a family.
Traveling Home
On the trip home, which always seems so much longer than the way there, we got slowed down all through Illinois and through Indiana because of snow. We were already behind. So Saturday evening put us still a few hours from home, with church looming before us the next morning. We were cruising along when I looked down at my phone and saw there was a huge delay up ahead. I told Matt, who was driving, and we quickly looked for a way to avoid it.
There was nothing; we were coming up on it too quickly to be able to avoid it. All too soon, we saw the brake lights and slowed down. Coming to a complete stop, we settled in for what seemed like it was going to be a while. We were okay for a little while; that is, until we came to a bend in the road and saw brake lights for at least a mile ahead of us. We realized we wouldn’t be going anywhere for quite some time.
As you can imagine, it didn’t take long for everybody to get frustrated and irritated. The kids were tired of sitting still, Matt was wearily watching for the traffic to move, and I was thinking through all the reasons this was so frustrating—the top reason being we were going to get home even later now on Saturday night. That would make things really difficult for Sunday morning.
Coming Upon the Scene
So we sat in traffic and waited and waited and waited. I’m not sure exactly how much time we lost during that stop, but it was significant. We continued to creep forward, never really getting anywhere. Finally, we came upon the scene. I glanced out my window as we drove past, and a sick feeling settled in my stomach. Silence descended on the car as we took in the scene.
There was a tractor trailer stopped on the highway. At the back of it was a car that had crashed into it. The car was so far forward into the back of the truck that the truck went all the way backseat. The front of the car was gone. There was a huge tarp covering the front of the car, closing off the view to the passerbys of the horror that had occurred in the front seat. Suddenly, everything I thought was so important faded from my mind. The things I had been so impatient about and worried about were no longer important. Nobody said anything in our car for at least the next thirty minutes.
That accident is the worst accident I have ever encountered. In those moments right after seeing the accident, I felt the guilt creep in. I had been so annoyed, so frustrated at the traffic not moving, at how late we would get home. Yet, after seeing the full picture of why we had been stopped for so long, those reasons were no longer relevant. Somebody and probably more than one person, had lost their lives that night while I sat complaining in traffic.
A Change in Perspective
I couldn’t shake that scene from my mind the rest of the way home. Even now, when I think about it, it makes me sick. I’ve thought about my response, and how my perspective totally changed once I knew the whole story.
That’s how life is. We are often so hard on other people, ready to disagree and tell them all the reasons they’re wrong. Judgement always seems to bubble up faster than love and acceptance. Whether it’s somebody who does life differently than us, believes differently, votes differently, has different views on current events…we believe that we have the right answer. And if somebody has a different view than us, they are wrong. We cast judgement as if we were the ones given that role in the first place.
Yet, if we would just take the time to hear them out and hear why they do what they do or believe the way they do, it would open our eyes. It would probably change our perspective. We would see that they have a reason why they do what they do or say what they say. When we see the entire picture or hear the entire story, it opens our eyes and changes our response. We still may not agree, but we can have empathy and begin to understand them better.
Jesus’ Warning
Jesus warned us not to come down hard on other people, unless we want people to be hard on us. He warned us that judgement would come on us if we pass judgement on other people.
Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.
Luke 6:37,38
Approaching the Holidays
Our world is divided and fractured, and we can add to that division; or we can choose to tear down those walls. As we move towards the holidays, choose to find ways to bring down the walls. One of the best ways we can begin to understand why people do what they do or say what they say is to simply listen to them. Ask questions and simply listen. It may surprise you. The thing is…people are doing the best they can. Most people have a realistic reason for doing what they’re doing.
So let’s choose to pass the pumpkin pie around the holiday table and not judgement. Let’s listen more than we talk, and let’s love on people who are different from us. That’s what Jesus did, and I think He’s a pretty good role model to follow.
