Monthly Archives: April 2018

Don’t Give Up on Your Heart’s Desire

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Have you ever really wanted something to happen, and it just won’t? Have you prayed and prayed for God to answer your specific prayer, and you feel that He won’t? Don’t give up! I want to give you a give some encouragement.

Our Dream to Start a Church

When Matt and I got married, we knew we wanted to be church planters. Matt was an intern at a church at the time, but our goal was to leave and start a new church. We figured it would only be about a year and a half. Four and a half years later, we were still working at the same church and the dream of starting a church seemed lost. We still had the desire, but God just wasn’t opening the door. We were so discouraged and hopeless.

Five years! That’s how long it took. It took five years for God to open the door for us to be able to leave that church and start a church in the greater Philadelphia area. We didn’t think it would ever happen, but we stayed faithful and God brought it to pass.

Waiting for Your Heart’s Desire

I don’t know how long it has been that you have been waiting for something to happen. Maybe it’s a baby, maybe you want to get married, to start your own business, to begin a ministry opportunity, to move to a new house… whatever it is, don’t give up on that dream!

Here are a few verses of encouragement to remind us not to give up on waiting for our heart’s desire.

Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

 And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Psalm 37:4-7 KJV

There are a few simple truths in these verses that I use over and over again to encourage myself and other women.

1. If I am truly focused on God, He will fulfill my desire, or He will change the desire.

When I delight in the Lord, He will fulfill my heart’s desire. The word delight means to receive pleasure in. When we take pleasure in developing a relationship with God, He will, in turn, fulfill our desires.

Sometimes this train of thought gets Christians tripped up. These verses don’t say that God is a vending machine, and if we put in the appropriate amount of money, exactly what we desire will come out. It’s deeper than that. If we are truly focusing on developing a better relationship with God, our desires are going to change to line up with His desires for us.

What does this look like practically? I often use these verses when talking to singles who want to be married. Either a relationship will come in time, or God will take away that desire and replace it with a desire to be single. In the mean time, they can focus on their relationship with God, while simultaneously praying and seeking out a relationship.

2. If I commit what I am doing to the Lord and entrust it to Him, He will bring it pass.

Focus on what God wants me to do whether in my life’s purpose or even just in what He has for me for the day, and let Him work out all the details.

I often quote this verse to God on a day when I am overwhelmed with a task or an event or even just a forever-long to-do list for the day. I pray through what I am trying to accomplish and surrender it to Him. Then I get to work, and God always carries me through.

3. I can be at rest while I am waiting patiently on God because I know He is working on my behalf.

The hardest thing in life is waiting. Whether it’s the little things in life like waiting in a long drive-through line, waiting to get a prescription filled, or waiting to check out at the grocery store. Or whether it’s more difficult than that… waiting for God to answer a prayer, waiting for God to heal a loved one, waiting for Him to provide financially once again. Waiting is hard. The Bible says that when a desire has not come to fruition, our heart is sick. But once the desire comes, it is a tree of life!

Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.” KJV

Waiting for God to work can make or break our faith in life’s hardest moments. When the time comes that the only answer we have is to wait for God to work, we can delight in Him, commit the problem to Him, and then sit back and wait for God to work.

 

lady sitting back at a table

photo credit: Artem Bali

 

When You Feel Like Quitting

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The Burden No One Sees

Do you ever feel like just quitting? I just wanted to write a quick note of encouragement to you as we head into the weekend. Most of us are going to wake up tomorrow, go to church, serve in various ministries, and be busy doing the work of the Lord. We all put on our game faces. We work hard on Sundays. We serve, we love on people, we give, we do our best to serve God to the best of our abilities.  But how many of us, beneath that exterior of smiling and serving, are carrying a huge burden? It’s a burden that not many people know about. It’s not something you talk about all the time, but it’s there. You have begged God to hear your prayer, but it just feels as if He doesn’t hear you. He certainly isn’t answering.

When You Feel Like Quitting

I feel your pain. I have been there; I am there. Sometimes it feels like it’s time to give up on that prayer. Maybe you feel like it’s time to walk away from it all- God, the church, your spouse, your dream, your job… I don’t know what your situation is, but I do know that it is too soon to quit. I don’t know your heartbreak, but I know the One Who does. You may feel like quitting, but I’m here to tell you- it’s too soon to quit! You have no idea how close you could be to God breaking through in your life and changing everything.

Don’t Quit

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit-

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a fellow turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man;

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor’s cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out –

The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It might be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –

It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

~Anonymous

girl with her hands on her head

photo credit:
Pavel L.

Book Launch Day at Our House

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four kids sitting on couch

Our book launch crew

Today is the Day!

So today is book launch day at our house! My husband Matt wrote a book called Unmasked: Overcoming the Shame that Says You’re Not Enough. It released on Amazon this morning. You can click here to get your copy. Our kids have been excited and helping as best as they can- making messes, running around the house like crazies, and taking advantage of the fact that Mom and Dad are busy for the day. You get the idea!

Dealing with Shame

Ever since Matt knew that he wanted to write a book on shame, we have spent countless hours talking about shame. We have talked about the five emotions that shame impacts-Insecurity, Indecision, Insignificance, Rejection, and Inadequacy. Matt covers all of these in his book.

We all struggle with shame in different ways in our lives. It’s so prevalent in our culture today. It’s in our churches, the workplace, our schools, pretty much everywhere. Social media certainly hasn’t helped us any. I know for me, shame has paralyzed me at times in my life from being who God created me to be and doing what He wants me to do. I have always wanted to be meek and mild, quiet, proper, and soft-spoken. Unfortunately, that’s not exactly me. I am strong-willed and opinionated. I love a challenge, and I love to be in control. Yeah… not exactly meek and mild.

Free to Be Me

For years, I struggled with being me. I felt a need to portray a certain personality, especially as a Pastor’s wife. I felt like once people got to know the real me, they didn’t like me anymore. So I hid behind the quiet, unassuming Pastor’s wife persona. That is until I would let it slip and people could see the real me. Working through Matt’s book has helped me be free to be me. I need to constantly remind myself there is no shame in being who God created me to be. I have nothing to prove to anybody else, and neither do you!

One of the things Matt talks about in his book is that the best way for us to accomplish God’s purpose for our lives is to keep our eyes on God, not on those around us. Don’t look around at what everybody else is doing. Focus on who God created you to be and what He wants you to, and the shame will fade away!

 

 

How I Use Release Writing

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photo credit: Ana Tavares

What is Release Writing?

So I think Matt may have made up the phrase “release writing,” but it totally works! We have been calling it this for years. The idea of release writing is to write down whatever it is that is bothering you until you feel a release from the building pressure. Basically, when I am overwhelmed, hurt, discouraged, frustrated, or whatever it is that I can’t wrap my mind around, I write about it. I write down everything I am feeling, thinking, experiencing, and anything else that is rolling around in my head.

When to use Release Writing?

Sometimes I release write after Matt and I have had a fight. Other times, it’s after something discouraging takes place. Sometimes it’s just a problem with our kids or a frustration in our home that we can’t seem to get past. I can process things so much better when I see it on paper in front of me instead of having it all stuck in my head. I write down every crazy thought in my head.

How does Release Writing Help?

I write until I feel like the pressure that is building inside of me is released. After the tears have flowed, after the hurt or anger has eased, after I have gotten all the frustration down on paper, then I can take a deep breath. Now I can look back through it and see what is going on. I can begin to process what happened and what I need to do next. What started the fight? Why am I so hurt? What did the friend really say, and did I respond the right way?  Was he wrong or was I? Why am I so discouraged right now? Why do I feel so helpless? Release Writing helps me to see what is going on and the steps I need to take next.

What is an Example of Release Writing?

I believe a lot of the Psalms of David were simply release writing on David’s part. We, as the readers, can see he was working through his fears, failures, problems, and discouragements simply by writing them all down. I find it so interesting that a lot of his Psalms start really negative and discouraging. By the time he has gotten to the end of the Psalm, though, his attitude turns positive again. There is something about writing that helps us to work through our emotions. It certainly helps me! Give it a try, and see if works for you too.