Monthly Archives: November 2017

Offering Grace When I Want to Offer Shame

Shaming Others

Shame is so prevalent in our culture today– especially in church, which is where I have spent my entire life. Now, nobody walks up to you and says, “Shame on you. You shouldn’t have…” fill in the blank. Nobody actually says that, but it’s implied. So we walk around with feelings of shame for the things we have done wrong. We get so discouraged with ourselves, our mistakes, our failures, and our shortcomings because people keep reminding us of them.

Why is that? We are Christians. We are supposed to be walking around full of grace and extending grace to others. Isn’t that what Jesus does for us? Jesus forgives us day after day for the same things over and over and over again.

Choosing to Extend Grace

You know what’s really hard? To extend grace to someone who has hurt us. Being a pastor’s wife, I am no stranger to hurt. People say things about my husband, about me, and about our ministry. Matt continually tells me, “We have to develop tough skin but keep a tender heart.” Let me tell you– I am bad at both of those things! I am not good at taking criticism from people. People can be mean. It’s especially hard to take criticism when the criticism isn’t even true.

When I am criticized, there are two things that I am really trying to work on. Number one, I am trying to learn not to defend myself. Number two, I am trying to learn not to shame those who are criticizing me, but extend grace to them, even when they have hurt me.

Choosing to Look Past the Hurt

There is a very familiar saying that says, “Hurting people hurt people.” Whatever is going on in their own personal life is directly impacting why they are lashing out at me. I have to ask God to help me extend grace to them instead of shame. I want to tell everybody around me how they hurt me, how untrue their words are, how unspiritual they are, and so much more. Instead, I have to choose to not talk about it with other people. That is hard! I want to shame them and put them in their place, but I have to choose to offer grace instead. Grace offers them dignity by not talking to others about it. Grace is hard! But grace is what I keep asking Jesus to give to me, so how can I not extend it to others!

Don’t Let this Thanksgiving Pass You By + Free Printables

The Busyness of the Holiday

Thanksgiving comes each year, and with it comes the crazy busyness of the holiday. The grocery shopping and last-minute runs to the store for all the things we forgot, the cooking and baking, the decorating, the entertaining, and all the special things that make Thanksgiving the holiday it is. We get so busy that often the day passes by without us ever getting a chance to thank the One who has made it all possible. It’s hard to take the time to make that happen.

Making the Time

I get it. I really do. I am hosting two separate Thanksgivings this year. One on Wednesday night and another one on Thanksgiving day, and we are heading to a third one on Thanksgiving night. It’s crazy! But somewhere in the midst of all that, I have to set aside time to thank God for my blessings. So Thursday morning, before the parade starts, before I start cooking for the day, before my kids get out of bed excited and energized for the day, I am going to make a cup of coffee, light a candle, and grab my Bible and journal and spend some quiet time thanking God for the incredible life He has given me.

I will sing unto the Lord, because He hath dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 13:6

I was thinking this morning- what if this was my last Thanksgiving? How would I spend it? What would I change? I think I would take the time gather my littles close to me and hug and kiss them and tell them how much I love them and am grateful for them. I would take the time to let my husband know how very much he means to me. I would do more laughing and celebrating with friends and family and less complaining and getting frustrated. We are not guaranteed next year. Life is so short and unpredictable. We have to choose to make this Thanksgiving count.

Choose to Make the Time

Choose to take the time to thank God for His many blessings in your life. Be fully present this Thanksgiving with your family and friends. Don’t be so busy making Thanksgiving perfect that you forget what it is all about- spending time with those you love and thanking the One who gave you this beautiful life to live.

Free Thanksgiving Printables

Just for fun, I created the Thanksgiving printables below. The first two you can print off and put in frames for your Thanksgiving table. The third one I created is for writing down how God has blessed you. It would be a fun project for kids to work on too! I hope you enjoy them. Sign up at the bottom of the page to get the three free printables.

Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours!!

Free Thanksgiving Printable

Free Thanksgiving Printable

Free Gratitude Printable

Hit the Brakes: I Need to Stop Trying to Fix Life

Being a Fixer

How many times do we take matters into our own hands when things aren’t going well in our lives? I am a fixer by nature. I naturally want to help fix people and their problems. It’s kind of my Achilles heel. So when my life feels out of control, or when things aren’t going well, I tend to jump in and start trying to fix things. The problem is that sometimes there is nothing I can do to fix it. Sometimes the struggles I am facing cannot be fixed. Only God stepping in and working in my life can fix the problem- whether it’s financial struggles, an illness, a frustration, a hurt, or an offense. Sometimes I step in and make a bigger mess of things, instead of fixing them.

Taking a Break

Last week, we were dealing with some hardships and discouragements in our church ministry. Some things had taken place and the pressures were taking their toll on us. I actually broke down and started crying at church! We decided after that, it was time for a break.

We spontaneously decided to take a trip to Illinois to visit our family. We had a few days free and felt that we could use the break and the encouragement. So we packed up, loaded the kids into the van, and started the thirteen hour trip to the Midwest. While we were there, Matt and I had a chance to talk through the pressures and difficulties but couldn’t come up with any solutions. Early one morning, God got my attention through my Bible reading.

Our kids having fun at Grandma’s house

I have been reading in the book of Genesis about Joseph. Joseph is an Old Testament Bible character that teaches us how to endure hardships. The story of Joseph starts with his brothers hating him, ganging up on him, and selling him into slavery. Thirteen years later, through a series of circumstances, he becomes second in command in all of Egypt. It is during this time that his brothers show up again in his life. The brothers are fearful that Joseph will take revenge on them now that he is a powerful ruler. I love Joseph’s response to his brothers.

And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am in the place of God?

But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. Genesis 50:19,20

Stop Trying to Fix Things

I love these verses and have read them many times before. But that day, they stopped me in my tracks. I felt like God was speaking directly to me.

Amanda, are you God? Are you in the place of Me to decide what is good and right? Stop trying to play My role in your life. Everything I am doing in your life is for a reason. I am orchestrating all the events in your life to shape you into the woman I have created you to be. Stop fighting Me and allow Me to mold you and change you. I can do such a better job of running your life than you can if you would just let Me.

God brought me such a peace that morning as I prayed and once again surrendered to His working in my life. I get so focused on trying to do what’s right and trying to fix myself and everybody around me, that when things don’t go as planned, it can totally rock my world. But God reminded me that I am not Him. I don’t have all the answers, but I can trust that when God is working in me, He’s doing it for His glory and for my good.

lady throwing leaves in the air

Faithfully Stepping

Encouragement for Women on their Journey of Faith