Sorry, Not Sorry
Matt has this crazy, loud laugh. When something cracks him up, he just lets lose. It doesn’t matter where we are or who we are with. It doesn’t bother me now, but it used to. When we first got married, I can’t tell you how many times I shushed him or kicked him under the table when we were out to dinner or at other people’s houses. It was embarrassing to me, and I thought in my immaturity that it should be embarrassing to him.
The fact is, it didn’t bother him at all. Over a decade later, it still doesn’t bother him. I am embarrassed to admit I even confronted him about it once. I said something dumb about being a little quieter, about not bothering other people, and other stuff that just showed my immaturity and stupidity. As you can imagine, it didn’t go over very well.
My Focus was All Wrong
The problem was I was focused on me. I am introverted and don’t like extra attention on me or my family. So, I will go out of my way to avoid any extra attention. I thought that Matt should be like that too. If you know my husband Matt, you probably just laughed out loud. Matt is the exact opposite of that. Matt loves attention. The more there is, the more he performs. He’s pretty much a “sorry, not sorry” kind of guy; he’s just not going to apologize for being who he is.
What I didn’t realize early into our marriage was that is a strength for my husband. Him being able to throw his head back and laugh and not care who’s watching is something I desperately needed more of in my life. In those early years, I was so focused on doing the right thing, saying the right thing, wearing the right thing, that I was almost paralyzed from doing anything. I needed Matt’s fun side; I just didn’t realize that.
Now, I understand, appreciate, and love the fun side of Matt. It’s what makes him a fun dad to our kids, a great husband to me, and a wonderful pastor. He is relatable to people, and people love that.
Don’t Apologize for Being You
I realized at some point that I was trying to change Matt’s personality. That wasn’t my job or my place. God created him exactly the way he did for the tasks he has for him. I’m so glad my husband didn’t listen to me. He breathes life into our family every single day with his humor and fun-loving side. If he would have changed for me, our family wouldn’t be what it is today.
Now, my extended family teases me that I laugh hysterically at anything Matt says or does. I do. I finally let my pride go and my sense of what was “appropriate” and can enjoy laughing with Matt. We have the best time laughing and having fun together as a family. He doesn’t apologize for being him, and I don’t apologize for him either.
Matt has taught me an invaluable lesson- don’t apologize for being you. This is something that I believe a lot of women struggle with, myself included.
Just Be You
I want to remind you of an incredible truth. You are created exactly the way God wanted to create you. There is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing you need to change. Don’t apologize for being exactly how God created you. However God has created you and crafted your personality, use it to help the people around you.
Learning who you are is freeing. You don’t have to hide anymore. You can boldly stand before God and the people in your life because you are okay with how God created you. That kind of a woman is unstoppable.
When you discover who you really are, don’t hide that from the world. Show up as you. Own the personality God has given you. He didn’t make any mistakes when He created you. He’s not ashamed of His creation. It’s time for us to stop acting like we are ashamed of the way God created us.
Be the Best Version of Yourself
Be the best version of you so you can be that for somebody else. If God created you strong, be strong for the people in your life who are not strong. Be strong for them. If God designed you to have a big heart to love and care for others, then do that. Love the people around you. Take care of those who are hurt and need someone to help them out. If God created you to be a leader, then step into that position. Lead the people around you. Be the kind of leader that does right by their people.
Whatever you do, don’t apologize for how God created you! Step into that role and be the best you, you can be!
Excerpt from Finding Free
This post is an excerpt from my newest book, Finding Free: 5 Simple Steps to a More Peaceful, Happy, and Content You. If you enjoyed this excerpt, check out my book on Amazon or from Manney Resources.
For More Encouragement
For more Encouragement on this topic, read my post 4 Life Lessons You Can Learn from a Potter.
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