Category Archives: Personal Growth

Summer Reading Guide, 2022

It’s summer time, and that means it’s time for some extra reading and the summer reading guide.

Summer Break

I love summer break; it’s a chance for me to take a break from homeschooling. It’s also a time for trips to the beach, sitting by the pool, going on vacation, and just relaxing. If you’re like me, each one of those activities entails reading. Sometimes though, it’s hard to come up with books to read. I like having a list of good books to pull from when I’m ready to read. Book recommendations are so nice to have! So I pulled together twenty books that I’ve read and enjoyed to make a reading guide for this year.

Summer Reading Guide

Some of the books on the reading guide are books I read years ago, and some are books I read just this year. I had a hard time narrowing down the list to twenty books, but I finally did it. I can say that all of these books are worth the read!

All of the books on this guide are non-fiction. If you’re into fiction books, be sure to sign up to be on my email list for A. J. Manney Books. I’m sending out an email to my readers with a fiction reading guide.

Check out my Summer Reading Guide for 2022.

You Are the Girl for the Job by Jess Connelly

Kind is the New Classy by Candice Cameron Bure

Having a Martha Home the Mary Way by Sarah Mae

The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson

When Women Pray by T. D. Jakes

Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist

The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod

The Super Mom Myth by Becky Kopitzke

Am I Messing Up My Kids? by Lisa TerKuerst

We’ll Laugh About This Someday by Anna Lind Thomas

The Turquoise Table by Kristin Schell

Love Does by Bob Goff

A Million Little Ways by Emily Freeman

Get Out of that Pit by Beth Moore

Money Making Mom by Crystal Paine

Rhythms of Renewal by Rebekah Lyons

Find Your People by Jennie Allen

The Power of a Women’s Words by Sharon Jaynes

Unstuffed: Decluttering Your Home, Mind, and Soul by Ruth Soukup

Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis Majors

Hopefully that gives you some ideas for books to read this summer!

Finding Deals on Books

Some of the cheapest places to find these books that I have found are Christianbook.com and Hobby Lobby. Also, don’t discount your local library. You can request books from other libraries in your district. So even though your library may not carry the book, another library nearby just might. I get so many of the books I read by doing this. If all else fails, Barnes and Noble and Amazon should carry any of the books on this list.

Past Reading Guides

I guess I didn’t make reading guides during Covid, but here’s the list for 2019 and the list for 2018.

If you read any books from this list, let me know what you thought of them!

Happy Reading!

You Are Not Alone, New Devotional

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You Are Not Alone Devotional

Today is the release day for You Are Not Alone: Promises from Psalms, our newest 30-Day Devotional. As we started the new year, Matt and I made a plan for the projects we wanted to roll out this year. On our list were several devotionals, so we got to work on those. We actually didn’t have this one on the schedule for the year. We had a few others planned instead.

As we sat together on our date day one morning and talked about everything going on around us, we decided we needed a devotional that would comfort people’s hearts. So many people are hurting; our world is so charged right now. We wanted something that could minister to people who needed to be reminded that God was for them and they weren’t alone in their struggle.

Enter the You Are Not Alone Devotional. We really enjoyed creating this devotional. It’s our most favorite yet! We love it in that it can encourage anybody! It also makes a great gift to give to people when you don’t know what to say to help them. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say to someone when they’re in the hospital, or when they’ve lost a loved one or heard bad news from the doctor. This devotional is the perfect thing to fill in the gaps when you don’t know what to say.

About This Devotional

Matt wrote this for the back of the book:

For the one who feels so lonely, abandoned even, God is ever and always near. For the one whose heart breaks and feels hopeless, find hope in God’s presence and promises. God is ever and always by your side. You are not alone.

In this 30-day devotional, you will discover some of the greatest promises in all of the Bible in the collection of songs called Psalms. Learn about the six times in life we can know we are not alone. From the seasons of stess to family struggles, you will learn the promises for times of uncertainty even the promises for facing your final days on this earth.

Live Training

We did a live training recently where we discussed how to use this new devotional. You can watch that training on our YouTube page for Manney Resources here. As a part of that training, Matt created a free guide. You can download that guide here if you are interested. One of the pages Matt created was this page of where to find hope in the book of Psalms. I think it’s a great resource and wanted to share it with you.

Sometimes we want to encourage ourselves or encourage a friend, but we’re not sure which Psalm would be best to do that. This little cheat sheet helps with that.

Understanding the Psalms

The Psalms are such a rich book because they were written as songs. There are many times that just speaking doesn’t articulate what we’re trying to say or think. Yet, a song can do just that. How many times has a song caught your attention and hit home for you? Maybe it made you cry, or maybe it made you smile and remember something special. That’s the power of a song. That’s why when you read the Psalms, they just bring so much comfort and peace to our hearts.

My life verse comes from Psalms.

As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.
Psalm 18:30 KJV

Something to Look Forward To

We will be doing an online Bible study this summer using this devotional and the accompanying study guide, which will release this summer. We’d love for you to join us! So stay tuned! If you’re not signed up to be on my email list, be sure to sign up here so you don’t miss the announcement or anything else from Faithfully Stepping.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement on this topic, check out my post 10 Things to Try When Today is Too Hard to Face. A great book to read is A Shepherd’s Look at Psalm 23.

Don’t Live with Regret

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Regret

Regret. It’s a word that packs a powerful punch every time we hear it. None of us want to look back on our lives with regret, yet that’s what many of us will face when we come to the end of our lives simply because we let fear keep us from doing what God put in our hearts to do.

So many of us spend too much of our lives on the sidelines wishing, wanting, and hoping instead of jumping into the ring. We dream about the book we long to write, the product that would help so many people, the blog that could make a difference, the small business we know God wants us to start. But fear keeps us back from going after that dream.

The Power of Regret

Danie Pink, the author of several best-sellers including his most recent book, The Power of Regret, collected 16,000 regrets from people in 105 countries. He says that one of the top regrets people have is inaction—not taking a chance.

He posted this picture on social media.

How many of us are living a life we are going to regret one day simply because we have been too fearful to move forward into what God wants us to do?

Reasons We Hold Back

1. We fear what others will think of us.

So often, we let our fear of what others will think hold us back. In reality, most people are too busy living their own life afraid of what others will think of them to worry about what you’re doing. And here’s the deal. So what? What if they don’t approve? What if somebody doesn’t like what you’re doing? It doesn’t matter. Our judgment comes from God. (Proverbs 29:26) It doesn’t matter what others think of us.

2. We think we won’t succeed.

We have this built-in alarm that blares loudly whenever we attempt to do something that is not a guaranteed success. Most of us can’t even allow ourselves to try something unless we are absolutely sure it will succeed. Here’s the thing; you probably will fail. There you go—your encouragement for today. 😁 The fact of the matter is we all fail. Matt and I started a business in 2011 that completely failed. Was it hard? Yes. Discouraging? Yes. But did we learn so much? Yes. Because of that failure, we knew what to do differently for Manney Resources when we launched that business in 2020. We can’t let the fear of failure keep us from trying.

3. It seems like a waste of time, money, and resources.

This one is a hard one. I know what it’s like not to have even a penny to put behind a business, blog, book, product, etc. There are so many ways to get around this. Figure out a way to start without spending any money or little money. It may mean that you don’t have all the bells and whistles when you first start, but start anyway. Just get the ball moving; the money will come in time. If you are doing what God created you to do and fulfilling the purpose he’s given you, then it’s not a waste of time, money, or resources. It’s just the opposite. It’s investing the resources he gave you. When you do that, he can funnel more towards you.

4. It doesn’t seem possible.

If it feels possible, it probably isn’t from God. The thing is that God gives us more than we can handle mostly so that we have to keep returning to him time and again. If God’s given you a big dream, go after it. He will give you the grace and strength for it. On the other hand, even if your dream doesn’t seem huge, go after it anyway. You have no idea what God could do with it once you get started.

5. We don’t think anybody will stand behind what we’re doing.

This is a lie Satan uses to keep us from doing what God wants us to do. I am always amazed at the cheerleaders God sends along the way. Often, it’s not anybody I ever thought of. Somebody sends an email, shares a post, or buys a product and reaches out to me and lets me know how much they appreciated it. It’s usually someone that totally surprises me. Don’t let the thought that nobody will get behind what you’re doing stop you, because you will be surprised. When you step out and start something, people will cheer you on. Will everybody? No. But those that don’t will fall away, and you will find the ones that do.

Choose to Simply Start

There are so many fears that keep us from wanting to move forward on what God has created us to do. We have to turn our back on those fears and just start. Today. There will never be a perfect time. We have to choose to simply start. Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, had something to say about this principle in the book of Ecclesiastes.

Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest.
Ecclesiastes 11:4 NLT

If you wait for everything to be perfect, you will never start. If you wait for the finances to come in, for the support of others, for the perfect product or manuscript, you won’t ever get started. So push all that away and start. Don’t come to the end of your life and look back with regret simply because you were too fearful to do what God put in your heart to do.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement, check my post Don’t Give Up on the Dream God has Given You. A great book on this topic is Soar by T. D. Jakes.

Perspective Changes Everything

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Our Walk

I learned a thing or two about perspective the other day from my six-year-old. I took a walk a few days ago with my two youngest, Maggie and Macey. We were walking along the sidewalks looking at different houses when Macey stopped suddenly.

“Look at that!” she said loudly. I stopped to see what she was looking at and saw a yard that was in desperate need of a mow. The grass was getting long, and there were ugly white dandelions everywhere. But I stopped to see what she had to say. What she said next surprised me. “That’s not fair! Look at all those wishes they have!” My girls love picking dandelions and blowing them as they make wishes.

She took me by surprise, but I laughed to myself a moment later. Here, we had just walked past this yard that was immaculate. The lawn was neatly trimmed and treated; it looked like you could sleep on it and be totally comfortable. Macey walked right past that lawn and didn’t even notice it or pay any attention to it. Instead, she picked the lawn that looked like a hot mess and liked that one because it had so many dandelions.

Perspective Changes Everything

It’s so funny to me how our minds work, but this is a perfect example of how perspective changes everything. We both looked at the same yard, but our perspectives changed how we viewed the yard. I saw it as a yard full of weeds that needed to be mowed; Macey saw it as a field full of magical wishes.

So often, how we see life and how we react to it is simply a matter of perspective. We see one thing, and somebody else looking at the same thing sees something completely different. That’s one of the reasons we have to be so careful when we’re talking with other people about our opinions, views, preferences, and more.

A New Friend

This week I’ve been thinking a lot about perspective and how it shapes so much of how we act, what we think, and what we say. On Sunday, I talked with a lady I had met for the first time. We were at a baby shower and ended up talking with a group of people for a few hours. She was so easy to talk with and had such a great spirit. She was just one of those people you want to hang around with a little while longer.

Towards the end of our conversation, we got to talking about shingles. I don’t even remember how. Matt told her I had a bad case of shingles after Madison was born. So she asked me about it, and I told her about the pain and how it was hard to do anything for the pain because it was nerve pain. She then proceeded to tell me that she understood all about nerve pain because she has Fibromyalgia.

Chronic Pain

She could have blown me away. I had no idea she dealt with chronic pain; she was so happy and fun and easy to talk to. As soon as she told me that, my respect for her increased even more. When we got home from the shower that night, Malachi told me that he thought she was a really nice person. She even made an impact on my kids.

The fact of the matter is, she has every right to be miserable and cranky. She lives with chronic pain and all the problems that go along with her disease. Yet, she’s chosen to make the most of it. She laughs and carries on and enjoys life; she doesn’t let it get her down.

Some of My Favorite Verses

It makes me think of some of my favorite verses in a very obscure book of the Bible.

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
Habakkuk 3:17,18

It’s Always a Choice

Even though absolutely everything is falling apart around us, we still have a choice. We can choose to rejoice in God. It’s a choice, just like anything else.

If we can choose to rejoice no matter what; our perspective will change. We will begin to look at the circumstances around us through a different lens. That lens will help us to refocus and shift our perspective so that we can begin to see and understand life the way God sees it. We can begin to see a field of weeds in our lives as so much more. We can see the mess in our lives turn into a field of wishes. It’s all in our perspective.

For More Encouragement

One of the books I think of when I think of changing our perspective is Kisses from Katie but Katie Davis Majors. This book will stay with you a long time and change your perspective about life and how good we really have it.

New Journal Covers!

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Voting for Your Favorite Cover

I absolutely love these new covers on these journals! I’m going to be honest. You all voted on your favorites, and the overwhelming favorite was the Rest in God’s Love Journal. Matt and I both were surprised as it wasn’t a favorite for either one of us. But I have to say…now that I have it in hand, I love it!

I’m so glad you all voted for this one and pushed us into doing this one. I think you’re going to love it as much as we do. We are really happy with how how the other two journals turned out as well. I picked the Morning by Morning Journal. That was my favorite cover. I will be using that one as soon as I’m done taking pictures of it.

The coffee and Jesus Journal was the second most voted for cover. Matt has already claimed that one to use for his morning time routine.

Here’s an inside look at the journals, in case you’re interested. Each journal is exactly the same inside. The Faithfully Stepping Journals are six-month journals.

Now is the Time!

If you have been wanting to get a morning time routine started, now is the best time! Grab one of these gorgeous journals and get started today! You can read my post, or you can watch the free video series I created on how to get a morning time routine started.

We teach the 30-to-THRIVE System for our morning time routine. You can read the post to learn how to do it, but here’s the simple formula.

Find These New Journals and More!

You can find everything you need to get a morning time routine started including a free morning time guide, as well as devotionals, journals, and books from Manney Resources.

If you get a morning time routine started, I would love to hear about it. Respond to this email or reach out to me on social media. Snap a picture of your morning time routine and let me know how it’s going!

Don’t Give Up on the Dream God has Given You

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Do you have a dream that seems so far out of touch? Maybe God placed something on your heart years ago, and you’ve been following him every day but things just aren’t working out. Sometimes it feels like that dream seems so far away, and you just want to give up on it.

The Dreamer

There are some verses in Psalms that talk about the boy we know as the dreamer, Joseph.

Then he sent someone to Egypt ahead of them— Joseph, who was sold as a slave^.They bruised his feet with fetters and placed his neck in an iron collar. Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the Lord tested Joseph’s character.
Psalm 105:17-19 NLT

These verses catch and hold my interest because of how things play out. God sends Joseph to Egypt not as a hero but as a slave. So, he already has a hard go of it. Then things get worse for Joseph. He ends up in prison, hence the bruised feet with fetters and the neck in an iron collar. Joseph didn’t do any of those things, and interestingly, neither did God. God orchestrated the events to bring Joseph to Egypt but then it’s sort of hands-off for a while. God uses this time and these circumstances to test Joseph’s character.

Joseph’s Dreams Come to Pass

Then, God sets things right for Joseph. Suddenly, the clock speeds up and everything falls into place for Joseph.

Then Pharaoh sent for him and set him free; the ruler of the nation opened his prison door.Joseph was put in charge of all the king’s household; he became ruler over all the king’s possessions. He could instructthe king’s aides as he pleased and teach the king’s advisers.
Psalm 105:20-22

God had a plan to make Joseph’s wildest dreams come true. He had such an incredible plan for Joseph’s life, but it wasn’t quick and it wasn’t easy. What if Joseph had given up? What if he had given up and walked away from it all because in his mind, things would never work out? We know just how much Joseph would have missed out on, had he done that.

Walking Away from Our Dream

What we don’t know is how much we are risking if we walk away from what God has for us. How much are we going to miss out on if we don’t stay at it, if we don’t follow the dream God gave us? We could be so close to a breakthrough. God could literally be moving things right now in your life or mine to bring things to fruition that we never thought possible. But if we walk away from it, we won’t ever see those blessings. We won’t ever see those dreams come to pass.

I know it’s hard. Seasons of trial always are. You may feel broken right now and don’t think you can stay in the fight. I’m telling you, you can. You just have to focus on staying in the fight today. Just for the next hour, the next minute. What does staying in the fight look like?

Staying in the Fight

It’s staying with your husband and not giving up on your marriage. Getting up early and spending time with God in his Word and journaling even when it feels like he is so very far away and silent. Showing up for church, even when your spirit isn’t in the right place. Praising God and singing though your heart feels so heavy it might break.

It’s smiling and encouraging someone else when they have no idea how much you need the encouragement yourself. Giving towards someone else’s need when you don’t have enough money for your own bills. Loving on that neighbor who is so frustrating and causes so many problems. It’s choosing to show up in love and faith today and live the life that God’s called you to live to the very best of your ability.

It’s simply choosing to take the next step today and then the next and the next. I call it faithfully stepping. One day at a time. One moment at a time.

The Dream Fulfilled

I wonder if Joseph woke up one morning and walked out on his terrace and viewed the whole land of Egypt before him as his beautiful wife came and stood next to him and his two boys ran around them and wondered at the sheer goodness of God. I wonder if he thought about the fact that nothing in his wildest dreams as a boy-dreamer came close to the things God had ordained in his life.

I think he did. He had to have. He was the dreamer and once a dreamer, always a dreamer. The thing about a dreamer is that they always wake up. A dream always ends and reality always comes. In Joseph’s case, the reality was even more beautiful than the dream. God wants that for us too; we have to simply continue to keep faithfully stepping until the dream comes to fruition.

For More Encouragement

For more encouragement, check out my post When You Feel Like Quitting or check out my husband’s book, Breakthrough: Transforming the Death of a Dream to the Birth of a Breakthrough.

When Everything Changed for Mary, and She Could Hope Again

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With Easter this weekend, I decided to pull an excerpt from my husband’s book, Six Days to Sunday. We drop into the scene where Mary has just been to the tomb and realized it’s empty.

Mary’s Sorrow

Mary stands outside and weeps (Jn 20:11). Peter and John go back to the room to report their findings to the others. Mary stays put at the tomb and looks for herself. But when she enters, she sees something Peter and John didn’t see—two angels. “Why are you crying?” they ask.

“They’ve taken Jesus,” she says.

She turns and sees a man standing in the entryway of the tomb. “Why are you crying? Who are you looking for?” he asks.

She turns back to where the grave clothes are lying. “Friend, if you’ve taken his body, please tell me where you’ve put him, so I can care for his body myself,” she says, thinking the man is the caretaker of the garden cemetery.

Jesus Calls Her Name

Mary is distraught, looking at the place where she thought she would find Jesus’ body. She’s lost in thought and then hears something so strange, yet so familiar… something she’s heard a hundred times and longed to hear once more, something she thought she would never hear again.

“Mary,” Jesus says. In an instant, she recognizes his voice. She turns. “Teacher!” she exclaims.

It’s that moment of shock when the hair stands up on the back of your neck. Your brain sends a rush of emotion and feeling from the back of your brain, down your spine and through your fingertips, and down to your toes.

Mary has her Hope Restored

Hope was restored. It wasn’t over. It wasn’t a dream. He was alive. He spoke to her. “Don’t touch me just yet. I need to go to the Father. Go back and tell the disciples what I have told you.”

Mary’s faith comes back. Her heart swells. Her confidence is restored. If she had any doubt about Jesus before, one word sent those doubts and fears fleeing, never to return.

She runs to the disciples to tell them the news. “He’s alive. Jesus is alive!”

“What are you talking about? Are you sure you saw him? This can’t be true.” The disciples were stunned in disbelief. How? How in the world is Jesus alive? And then they ask, “Are you sure? How do you know? What did He say to you?”

“He said just one word. He called my name,” she said.

Mary has her Faith Restored

The first step to restoring your faith happens when Jesus calls your name. How does he call your name? It’s him calling you in a sunrise. It’s Jesus calling you in the downpour of a rainstorm. Hearing his voice in the coo of a newborn. It’s the laughter of a child, the smile of a man standing with a sign asking for help from a dirty roadside, the touch of a hand, a hug from a friend, the kiss of a loved one. It’s Jesus calling you.

He says, “I know you. I haven’t forgotten you. Of all the people I could be reaching out to, I choose you. I know you lost hope in me, and I know you didn’t understand. You got hurt, and you lost faith. I saw the pain in your eyes and the hurt in your heart. But I’m here. I’m calling you. I’m calling your name because I know you. I know your name, and I am here for you.”

Our faith is restored when we simply choose to hope once again.

For More Encouragement

If you enjoyed this post, check out When Your Pain Paves the Way for a Miracle, my blog post about Mary that I wrote last year at Easter.

10 Things to Try When Today is Too Hard to Face

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When All You Want To Do Is Stay in Bed Today

Some days are just too overwhelming. The pressures, frustrations, hardships, and struggles make it feel like making it through today is impossible. It’s on those days, that it feels like the only thing you can do is crawl back into bed and throw the covers over your head instead of facing the day.

I had one of those days recently. Well, I’ve had more than a few of those days lately. Part of it is some life struggles and trials we’ve been going through, but part of it has been the weather. We’ve had lots of cold, rainy days. Whenever we have lots of rainy days, I struggle with being depressed. It was on one of those rainy, depressing days that I honestly wanted to crawl back into bed and just pull the covers over my head instead of facing the day.

I slept in past when I usually get up and finally made myself do my morning time routine, then take a shower. While I was taking a shower, I thought about this post. What would I say to someone else if they were having a day like I’m having today?

You’re Not Alone

So know that you are not alone. I have days like this. I know what it’s like to feel like you can’t make it through the day. Those days are so incredibly long. So here’s my encouragement to you. While I can’t take the pain away, and I can’t fix whatever’s going on in your life, I can come alongside and say, I get it. And I can share a few things that I do to help me make it through a day like that.

10 Things to Try Today

I made a list of ten things to try on a day when you don’t feel like you can make it through. You don’t need to all of them; maybe try one or two on a hard day.

Get out of bed. It feels like the only thing you can do is stay in bed or go back to bed, but choose to climb out of bed. That’s the first step to making it through today.
Take a shower and get dressed for the day. Even if you’re not going to leave your house for the day, still get dressed for the day. This will help you to feel a little more human and will keep you from going right back to bed.
Put on worship music that will direct your thoughts towards God. If you need a list of good worship songs to listen to, try our playlist: 40 Days of Faith. We created that playlist for our spiritual growth campaign at church.
Spend a few minutes doing your morning time routine. Even just a few minutes of reading your Bible or a devotional, praying, and journaling will help your spirit and help you to be able to make it through today.
Eat something. Sometimes getting some good food in us really can help change our spirit. The food can give us energy and the strength to be able to face the day.
Try to get out of the house for even just a few minutes. There’s something about being inside all day that feeds our depression and discouragement. Choose to do one thing that will get you out of the house today. It may be as simple as going for a walk, dropping off a letter at the post office, picking up a prescription. Just do something that gets you out of the house for a few minutes.
Write down at least five things you are thankful for. I’ve heard it said that you can’t be grateful and depressed at the same time. Try it and see! Spend just a few minutes writing down your blessings.
Do something you enjoy. On a day that you’re struggling to make it through the day, do one small thing that brings you joy. Go get a cup of your favorite coffee, read a few chapters of a book you really enjoy, watch an episode of your favorite tv series, go buy a donut from your favorite bakery, take a walk, etc.
Spend time with somebody. When I’m struggling, I want to be by myself. When my husband is discouraged, he needs to be around people. If this is you, call a friend to meet for lunch or for coffee. Call a family member or friend just to talk for a little bit.
Read an encouraging book. There’s been many times in my life when I’ve gone through hard times that a book has been like a balm to my soul. Here’s just a few recommendations: Kisses from Katie, Uninvited, The Hardest Peace, Undone, and The Hidden Pain.

What Do You Do

Those are some of the things that help me when I’m having a really bad day. Try a few of them the next time you’re struggling. Maybe share the list with a friend who’s going through a hard time.

What do you do when you’re having a hard day? What helps you get through? Let me know in the comments below!

For More Encouragement

For more encouragement on this topic, check out my post, Getting Through This Season of Rainy Days.

Friends Wanted: How to Cultivate Friendships in a Lonely World

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I think it’s pretty easy to say that we all want friends, not just acquaintances or friends on Facebook. We all legitimately want those few people in our lives who love us and understand us and want to be a part of our lives. We crave deep friendships with people, yet most of us haven’t figured out how to find those kinds of friends, let alone invite them into the deepest parts of our hearts and homes.

Find Your People

I’m reading Find Your People by Jennie Allen right now, and it’s been both encouraging and convicting at the same time. She deals with this issue of building community in a lonely world.

The fact of the matter is, we all want friends and people to do life with. Yet, I daresay most of us would say that we feel all alone in this world most of the time. In this digital age, we have people around us 24-7 through social media, emails, tv, blog posts, etc. So, how come it is that we go to bed feeling all alone in this world?

The 3-5 Friends Challenge

The scientific proven number of people that we can track closely with is 3-5 people. That’s it. While it sounds like we should have more friends than that, if you truly stop and think about it, that’s probably more than we could say we’re truly close with.

Here’s a challenge. Take a moment and write down the names of 3-5 people that are your closest friends. By close friends, this is what I mean:

Someone that lives near you that they could drop everything and be at your house in a few minutes if needed (Note: one of my good friends lives an hour away, but we make it work)
Someone who truly cares about you and wants to know how you’re doing
The person that loves you just as you are and isn’t trying to change you but is willing to confront you if you get way off-base or off-track
The person who sees you for you with all your faults and flaws and still loves you and wants to spend time with you

If you’re like me, you found this exercise a little harder than you thought it would be. That’s because we all struggle in this area of making friends. You may have hundreds of followers on Facebook but not any friends that you do life with day-to-day.

My Answer to Finding Friends and Cultivating Friendships

Making friends is something I really struggle with. I don’t let people into my life easily. I’m a very independent person and hate to be a bother to anybody. I used to stress because I knew I needed friends, but I didn’t know how or where to find them. I had no idea where to even start. Then one day, all that changed in a way I never saw coming.

One day, out of the blue, Matt told me he wanted to start small groups at our church. He handed me a book to read on the topic. I read the book and understood all the in’s and out’s and why’s of starting small groups in our church. I’ll be honest, though, I wasn’t really looking forward to it. That was over seven years ago.

My Small Group

Fast forward several years. It took several groups and reshifting people and groups before we finally started gelling with our group. We have now been with our small group for six years. They have been become such a vital part of our lives that I can’t imagine doing life without them.

These pictures were taken at our last Friendsgiving. We started as strangers and have now become close friends. I know that I could call anybody in my group in an emergency and they would drop whatever they were doing to come help. We’ve been through so much life together—the highs and the lows, the good and the bad. We have forged such deep friendships over years of meeting together weekly and settling around our table with good food, fellowship, Bible study, and prayer.

I’m not good at tracking down friends to do life with, and my small group has become the outlet for me to meet with my friends faithfully each week. I know that without the structure of meeting with my group every week, I would not invest in those relationships like I need to. I would probably let those relationships just slip away.

Starting a Small Group

If you, like me, have found yourself lonely and wanting to develop deep connection and community with people but don’t know where to begin, let me encourage you to join Matt and I tomorrow morning at 9am EST on our Manney Resources Facebook Page.

We are doing a training on small groups. We are going to share with you the simple system we use to get groups started.

These are the words Matt wrote about the training tomorrow: Small groups are the difference between those who make it and those who don’t. Life is too short and difficult to go at it alone. Learn the power and impact of developing a small community, finding a rhythm for your schedule to meet, and how to leverage the power of friendships to grow your faith and change your life.

We will be answering all these questions and more:

How do I start a group?
Who should I invite?
Where should we meet?
What’s the format for a small group?
What Bible studies should I use?

If you want to cultivate friendships and stop doing life by yourself, be sure to tune in tomorrow morning at 9am!

For More Encouragement

Jennie’s book, Find Your People is a great read! I’m really loving it and being challenged by it. You can also read one of my posts about our growth group, Love is Still the Answer.

When God Chooses Not to Take It Away

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God hasn’t Taken It Away

One of the hardest things to deal with in this life is when God chooses not to take something away. This week, Macey, our six-year-old, worked on one of those all about me papers. She had to fill in the blank with her favorite foods, colors, what she likes and doesn’t like, etc. She brought it to me when she had completed it, so she could show me her answers. The first one on the page said, I worry about ___________________. I looked at her answer and then looked at it again. She had written growing up in the blank.

She sat next to me on the couch. “I worry about growing up because of my Diabetes,” she said quietly and with a bit of uncertainty. I just stared at her for a beat before I pulled her into my arms.

“Macey, you don’t have to worry about growing up,” I told her. We talked for a few minutes before I sent her to play, but those few words hung heavy on my heart for quite a while. I told Matt about it later, and he reacted the same way I did. “That’s not something a six-year-old should ever have to worry about,” I told him. I hate that she has to deal with it, that God hasn’t just taken it away. But even as I said those words, I couldn’t help but think about other little kids who worry about growing up. I think of kids who have it so much worse than my Macey. Kids with cancer, with terminal illness, and more.

The Pain in This Life

No matter how bad you think your life is, there is always somebody who has it so much worse than you do. All you have to do is look around. This life is full of tragedy, heartbreak, pain, and loss.

I felt myself spiraling with thoughts of concern for Macey and the life ahead of her. Fear of the future, hurt for her, frustration all began to come at me. Then I read in my morning time some verses that have become so dear to me over the years.

God’s Grace

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10NLT

I read these verses and stopped. I pray every morning for God to heal Macey of her diabetes or to provide a cure. Right now, there is no cure for Type 1 Diabetes. She will be on insulin for the rest of her life. I’ve asked God to just take it away so many times, especially during those long, painful days in the ICU. I can feel Paul’s pain when he says, “I’ve begged God to take it away.”

Because I can feel his pain, I can also hear God’s words so clearly. “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So when you’re weak, then I am strong.” When you have something that you’ve begged God to take away from you and he hasn’t, only then can you truly understand these words. I felt these words wrap around my heart, even as the tears came. I needed to remember: God’s grace is enough for today.

Strength in Weakness

Because God’s grace is all I need, he will make me strong through my weakness. What’s even greater is that God will work in Macey’s weakness. She can come to know God’s grace in an intimate way in her own life, but it’s my job to teach that to her. It’s my job to help guide her in her faith so that she can learn to be strong through God’s grace.

Do you have something in your life that you have begged God to take away or change and he hasn’t? A looming divorce, financial hardship, cancer, terminal illness, the death of a loved one, loneliness, heartbreak. I say these words to you, “God’s grace is enough.” I know it doesn’t seem like it, and it definitely doesn’t feel like it. But as someone who has been there and is still there, I can come alongside and wrap my arms around your shaking shoulders and say those words. You can learn to be strong by walking through your weakness with Jesus at your side.

We can know that we have begun to understand God’s grace and find his strength in our weakness when we can come alongside someone else and wrap our arms around them and say, “God’s grace is enough. Let me tell you how it was for me.”

For More Encouragement

A great book on this topic is It’s Not Supposed to be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered by Lysa TerKeurst.