Author Archives: Amanda Manney

About Amanda Manney

Hi friend, thanks for stopping by! I'm Amanda. I am a pastor's wife and a homeschooling mom who has a passion to encourage women to faithfully step every day into what God has for them.

Guaranteed Success for Moms

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All Different Mom Types

There are so many types of moms out there. There are strict moms, fun moms, organized moms, scatterbrained moms, funny moms, serious moms, boring moms, safe moms, edgy moms, creative moms, techie moms, sporty moms, artsy moms, saver moms, spender moms, fashion moms, entrepreneurial moms, working moms, stay-at-home moms, leader moms, baker moms, and so many more. That list intimidates me. When I see a list like that, I feel like I have to be every one of those, plus some. I don’t do many play dates, coffee dates with friends, phone calls with friends, and more because I always compare myself to whoever I am hanging out with; and I always fall short. Do you ever feel that way?

There is a verse in the Bible that applies to this issue that always catches my attention.

II Corinthians 10:12 …but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

This is something I have really struggled with over the years and am trying to work on. I have spent the past few years trying to figure out who I am, what I am passionate about, and learning to be comfortable with my own personality, passions, and talents. Thanks to Mark Gungor and his flag page test, I am learning to step into who I am. I am faithful, creative, independent, musical, and inspirational. There are a lot of characteristics and attributes that I do not have, but I choose not to focus on those. I choose to focus on my strengths and not get frustrated and discouraged when I see my weaknesses as strengths in other Moms.  I can rest content in the Mom I am because God made me specifically this way to be a Mom to Malachi, Madison, Maggie, and Macey.

Content to be Me

I am learning to be OK with who I am, and I’m making progress! Last week I called two of my friends and scheduled a play date for last Friday. We had an awesome time! I saw in them strengths that I don’t have, but that’s OK. God made them perfectly to be the best Mom they can be to their own children.

God has made each of us specifically and uniquely. He has given you talents and abilities and passions that He has not given me; that’s why we can be friends. If we were the same, one of us wouldn’t be needed. I am the only one that can be my children’s Mom, and you are the only one that can be the Mom your children need.

On this Mother’s Day, I am choosing to be OK with who I am. I am loved by God, loved by my husband, and loved by my kids… and that is enough. I am guaranteed success as a Mom when I choose to be who God created me to be, when I choose to simply be me.

picture of my kids and I

Left to Right: Madison, Maggie, Malachi, my Mother-in-law, me, and Macey

All the Ways My Husband Has Hurt Me

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The Fight

A few years ago, Matt and I had a fight. This wasn’t just any fight. This was a doozy. To this day, I don’t even remember what it was about. All I know is that I was mad. I remember taking out a notebook. Whenever I am upset and need to process what I am feeling, I always write down everything I am thinking and feeling in a journal. Well, this day, I decided to title the page– “All the Ways my Husband Has Hurt Me.” Basically it was everything I wanted to say to his face. I began a list, a long list of all the ways he had hurt me, the things he was wrong about, why I was upset at him, and so on. I came up with a lot. Honestly, I felt better when I got done writing. Then I sat and thought about how it was going to feel so good to prove my point and show him just how much he had hurt me.

Suddenly, I saw another expression in my mind’s eye. It was an expression of deep hurt on my husband’s face. I knew that if I gave him this paper, it would crush him. Was it worth it? Was it worth hurting him so badly just to prove my point? Just to prove that he was wrong and I was right? I knew it wasn’t. So I took the piece of paper, looked at it one last time, then ripped it out of the notebook, tore it up and threw it away.

I turned to another page in my notebook and began a new list. I entitled it– “The Things I Love About Matthew.” It took me a few begrudging minutes to get started, but then the words began to flow from my mind to the paper. By the time I was done, I had completely filled a paper, front and back, of what I love and appreciate about my husband.

The Resolution

A few hours later when Matt came back home, I didn’t say anything. I simply handed the paper to him. At that point, I was no longer angry. I had dealt with the problem. I asked God to forgive me where I was wrong, and I remembered again that the enemy was not my husband. I watched as Matt’s face fell before he even read the paper. I could see that he thought he knew what was coming and it wasn’t going to be good. Then I watched as he read the front, turned it over and read the back. By the time he got to the end, he had tears in his eyes. He said, “I’m so sorry,” and pulled me in for a tight hug.

We spent the next several hours discussing things, apologizing, and dealing with the problems. There have been so many times I have not handled our fights the right way. In fact, I’m ashamed to say that it took several years into our marriage for me to ever be the first to apologize. On that day, I finally did the right thing. Simply writing that list changed my attitude towards my husband, and that changed everything!

Obviously, that is not the last fight we have ever had. We still fight. Matt still hurts my feelings, and I still hurt him. Every couple fights, but when we focus on being kind and dealing with the problem instead of attacking each other, our relationship is not so devastated by these fights. We call this “fighting clean.” How I choose to respond to Matt in the midst of our worst fights has the power to heal the hurts between us or to deepen them and risk destroying our relationship.

 

Encouragement for the Weary Soul

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Picture by John Mark Kuznietsov

Sometimes I am just weary. There really isn’t a better way to describe it than the word weary. The word itself even sounds tired. The last few weeks around my home have made me weary. The kids have been at each other all day every day, my girls have been throwing fits again constantly, we had some unexpected bills that put us behind financially, my husband has been having some problems with his feet, we usually take a vacation this time of year but can’t right now… the list goes on. Nothing horrible has happened, but when the everyday problems seem to keep accumulating without any reprieve, I get so weary. So when I read this verse in my morning Bible reading, it was such an encouragement to my heart!

For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul.                  Jeremiah 31:25

The word satiate means “to quench; to extinguish.” The word weary means “faint, thirsty, to languish.” The word replenish means “to fill.” So God is saying that He quenches the thirsty and faint soul, and He fills the sorrowful soul. This is where I am right now. I feel faint-hearted and thirsty for more. I just can’t get enough done in a day, I can’t get my kids to stop fighting and having a bad attitude, I can’t be a good mom, and the list goes on. As much as I want to, I can’t fix this. I can’t satiate my weary soul, only God can.

I love the verse that comes next. In the next verse, Jeremiah writes,

Upon this I awaked, and beheld; and my sleep was sweet unto me. Jeremiah 31:26

When Jeremiah gets a hold of this truth, he starts sleeping better at night. He realizes that God will quench or satiate his weary soul and comfort his sorrowful soul. He realizes he can’t do anything about it. This makes me think of one of my favorite verses that I so often don’t follow.

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. I Peter 5:7

God didn’t create us to carry our own burdens. Every time I try to carry my own burdens, I get desperately weary. Only when I take those burdens to the Lord in prayer and stop worrying about them do I get the rest and care that I need.

So my encouragement for today is that God satiates (or fills) my weary soul and He carries my burdens for me.  If you are weary today, talk to God. Let Him take your burdens for you and let Him fill you up. That is the only recovery for a weary soul.

 

Stop Wavering in My Prayers

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Do you ever ask God for something and He doesn’t answer, so you change your request or mind and stop asking? I have been struggling with this kind of wavering and didn’t even really realize it until a verse stopped me in my tracks last night. Let me give you the back story.

Starting a Church

My husband (Matt) and I planted a church in the greater Philadelphia area in 2011. We started guns a blazing and sure the church would grow to 200 in the first year. Well that was several years ago, and we still haven’t grown to 100 yet. It has been much more difficult and harder than we ever thought.

We  prayed and prayed and begged God to grow the church. We did all the “grow your church” ideas, read all the books, listened to the podcasts, etc. Our church just didn’t take off like we expected it to.

The Present

It still hasn’t taken off almost six years later. Lately, I have fallen into a bad pattern. I get so discouraged on Sunday nights and Mondays. I vacillate between begging God to grow the church, bring visitors, help people to be faithful to church and having faith that it is going to grow into a great work for God one day… to thinking maybe it is time for us to move on. Maybe it is time to hand the church over to someone else that can grow the church. Maybe we are good starters, but not growers for the church. Maybe God is moving us on.

So I was laying in bed last night and reciting some verses from James in my head. When I can’t go to sleep right away or get my mind to stop working at night, I quote Bible passages that I am memorizing in my head and I usually fall right to sleep. So I was reciting James 1 and verse 7 totally stopped me in my tracks.

For let not that man think he shall receive any thing of the Lord. James 1:7

What man is this talking about? What man is not going to receive anything from the Lord? It is referring to the man in verses 5 and 6.

 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.                                                                                                        But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. James 1:6

So if we are lacking wisdom in some area of our lives (us on how to grow the church), we are supposed to ask God for that wisdom. But we have to ask believing He will do it and not wavering. The word waver means “to withdraw from.” So when I ask God for wisdom on how to move forward and how to grow the church but then turn around and tell my husband I think it is time to move on, I am withdrawing my request from God. God says that the man who does this will not receive anything from Him. So am I bringing this all on myself? It kind of sounds like it.

 

The next verse takes it even another step further.

A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. James 1:8

So not only will I not receive anything from the Lord when I am wavering in my prayers, but I am going to be unstable in every other area of my life. Sheesh! I had better take heed and listen to what God is saying here!

My Commitment

So here is my conclusion. As hard as it is, I decided I need to stop wavering on my prayers for the church and follow through with the faith to believe God will answer my prayer. He will give us the wisdom to run the church. Whether or not it grows to be a big church or not is totally up to Him and has nothing to do with me.

What are you struggling with wavering in prayer on? This is our encouragement to stick with it and not give up! Is it wisdom for a relationship? A child who is far from God? A financial burden? The next step? Keep asking God for wisdom for whatever it is that you are wavering on and don’t give up. I am doing the same!

 

Matt preaching

Matt preaching at our church

*** Click on the link below to get a glimpse of our church***

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Comfort for a Discouraged Heart

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Nevertheless God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us… II Corinthians 7:6

 

 

I needed this reminder this morning. God comforts me when I am cast down. How does He do it? The word comforteth means to “call near, to invite.” When I am depressed or discouraged, God calls me near and invites me to spend time with Him. Only after I spend time with Him can I receive His comfort.

When one of my kids is sad, I usually pull them up on my lap and talk to them and cuddle with them. This nearness of physical touch combined with letting them tell me what is on their heart is what encourages them and changes their sad heart to a happy heart. I think it’s the same with God. He wants us to come near to Him and tell Him why we are sad. Spend some time with Him and let Him encourage my sad heart.

How does this work practically? For me this morning, it looked like this…I made a good cup of coffee, grabbed my journal, my Bible, and a pen and sat down and spent some time praying, reading, and journaling. By the time I was done, my heart was encouraged, and I felt ready to face the day. Doing this habit every day is what keeps me going. It recalibrates my heart and my spirit and gives me what I need to get through my day. I also find that I am so much more productive on the days I spend time with God first!

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Waiting for God to Intervene

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Do you ever feel stuck in your situation? Maybe you are praying for God to meet a financial need, and He just isn’t coming through. Or maybe a loved one is sick. You keep praying for God to heal them, but He just doesn’t seem to be listening. For me, right now, it is finances and church growth. Our payroll company messed up our taxes last year, so we owed a chunk of money this year. It seems that finances are always something we need God’s help with. The other thing we always need God’s intervention in is for our church. We started a church in 2011, but it has been slow to take off. Sometimes I feel so desperate for God to intervene in a situation in my life, and it seems He never will. I read this morning about a woman who must have felt the same way.

The story I read this morning in my Bible is the story of Abigail and Nabal. Abigail was the wife of Nabal, an evil man. The Bible describes Nabal as churlish and evil in his doings. Churlish means cruel, hard-hearted, obstinate. Abigail had to feel so stuck in this relationship to such a mean, ungodly man. Yet, amazingly, it did not affect her spirit. The Bible says that Abigail was a women of good understanding. She had a good comprehending of life and the events in her life.

When David was hiding from Saul, he sent messengers to Nabal and asked if he would provide food and drink for David and his men. David and his men had protected Nabal’s shepherds. Nabal proceeds to mock David to his messengers and sends them back to David with no food. Obviously, this really made David mad. So David decides to take revenge on Nabal and kill him and his family and servants. He gathers four hundred of his men to head to Nabal’s property to destroy him.

While this is happening, one of Nabal’s shepherds goes in and tells Nabal’s wife, Abigail, all that has transpired and that David and his men are on their way to destroy Nabal and all his property. Here is Abigail’s immediate response.

Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses.

She rides out to meet David and his men with all the food loaded onto donkeys. She climbs off the donkey and bows on the ground before David and says, “Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be…” She then proceeds to tell David that her husband is a wicked man. She asks his forgiveness and shows him the food she has prepared for him and his men. David graciously accepts and tells her that if it were not for her coming to greet him, Nabal and all of his household would be dead by morning time. About ten days later, God kills Nabal and David sends for Abigail to become his wife.

It’s a crazy story but one that always makes me stop and consider. There are a few things that stand out to me when I read the story of Abigail.

  1. She was married to an incredibly evil man, yet she didn’t allow that to stop her from being kind and gracious.
  2. She was wise and had good understanding. She was able to look at a situation and know immediately the right thing to do.
  3. She took responsibility for a situation that was not her fault.

I believe those are the reasons that David took interest in her and took her as his wife once her husband died. For a time, Abigail’s life was miserable, but God intervened and changed everything. She became apart of the royal family. She had riches, power, a position, a good man for a husband, and more. She chose to be wise and kind in her season of life and God promoted her and gave her a wonderful future.

Abigail’s story encourages and challenges me. It’s a reminder to stay faithful and not let my circumstances dictate my feelings. Who knows when God will break through and intervene on my behalf?

 

How to Restore My Relationship with God

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Do you ever feel far away from God? Sometimes I feel that I need to restore my relationship with Him back to where it was, but I’m not quite sure how. A few days ago, we had an incident with our little girl that made me think about this concept.

It was one of those days. A couple of days ago my one year-old daughter, Macey, got mad and threw her cereal bowl. She is old enough to know that it was wrong. I took her hand and led her over to the now empty bowl on the kitchen floor and said, “Macey, that was naughty. Do we throw our cereal bowls?” She kind of grunted out a no. Then I asked her to say, “sorry.” Now just a side note, she can say sorry. She has said it before. But did she say it on that day? Nope. My husband and I spent the next forty-five minutes trying to get her just to say sorry. Every time we said, “Macey, say sorry,” she would deliberately turn her head away. She wouldn’t look us in the eye. It was funny for a little bit, but then it got frustrating. We just wanted her to say sorry for her sake so she could move on and we could move on. Her little heart was full of guilt, which was why she wouldn’t look at us. We were trying to help her, but she wouldn’t let go.

Macey

I feel like I do this so many times with my relationship with God. I feel just like my Macey who wouldn’t look into our eyes. I feel like I can’t come before God, like I am not worthy of His time because I messed up again. Often my prayer looks something like this…

God, it’s me again. I’m so sorry. I got angry again. I yelled at my kids again. I am so frustrated. When am I going to get better at this? I want to do better and I just keep blowing it. I am such a horrible mom and wife. What am I supposed to do?

This is a regular prayer of mine. I feel as though I can’t look up, like I can’t look God in the eye because I am so ashamed of myself. Yet, God is just waiting for me to look up and acknowledge Him, and then He can direct me. Proverbs 3:6 says,

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

The word acknowledge here means “to know, to ascertain (or make certain) by seeing.”  I could paraphrase the verse as,

Look up and see God in all areas of my life, and then He will guide my course.

To really look into someone’s eyes, you have to be vulnerable. This is how it is to “see” God. I have to let myself be seen. Show up and be vulnerable with Him. Talk to Him and tell Him how I feel but don’t hide. Let Him see me in all my mess because He already does anyway.

One of my favorite Bible verses Psalms 32:8 says,

 I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.

The word guide literally means “to advise.” God wants to advise me in life, and He does that  with His eye. It’s such a weird way to describe our relationship with God. You have to be totally concentrated on somebody’s face to follow directions from just the movement of their eyes. God wants my full attention on Him so I don’t miss when He directs me.

Macey never did say sorry that day. It was kind of a rough day for her. She was miserable all day and cranky and pretty much cried every time we looked at her. If she would have just looked into our eyes and could understand how much we love her, she could have been spared of all her misery. But instead she wanted to hang on to her misery and guilt.

How often do I do that to God? I feel so far away from Him. I need to learn to let myself be vulnerable and open with Him and not let my sin keep me from an open relationship with Him. God loves me so much. He is just waiting for me to just say “sorry” and move on so our relationship can be restored.

Macey (on the right) on a happier day

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We All Need Worth

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I think most people struggle to understand that they have worth and value, but I know women especially struggle with it. I know I sure do. So my husband’s message on Sunday was an encouragement to my heart. Here is  a recap of his message.

How We Define Our Worth

From an early age, we learn to define our worth through four ways.

  1. Through our appearance– how we look.
  2. Through other people’s approval– who we please.
  3. Through attention– who is looking at me?
  4. Through our activity– what I do.

We try our entire lives to find our worth through improving our appearance, trying never to displease anyone, trying to always be the center of attention, and competing with everyone around us. This just creates a lot of stress for ourselves and those around us.

The only way to discover your WORTH is to discover your WHY.

How God Defines Our Worth

Romans 8:28-31

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

God has a plan for each of our lives, and He is working every day to accomplish that plan. When we begin to understand that truth, we begin to work with Him and not against Him. We exist to reflect the goodness of Jesus through our identity, relationships, and the worth we bring to other’s lives. We find our worth because of the value we bring to other people’s lives.

We showed this video clip on Sunday. It’s a great example of someone who has found their purpose (their why) and because of that, knows her worth. This is Joanna Gaines from HGTV’s show Fixer Upper.

Stop and Enjoy the Beauty of Today

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My kids keep talking about Christmas and looking at all the toy magazines we get in the mail. I, on the other hand, am just trying to enjoy the beauty of today. It is fall time! I am enjoying pumpkin spice coffee, my vanilla pumpkin marshmallow candle, the cool and crisp weather, the changing leaves, and the incredible scenery all around me. I’m so glad that God created fall!!

Sometimes I just need to remind myself to enjoy today. Enjoy the season I am in– whether it is the actual season or the season of life. Life just flies past, so I have to choose to stop for a moment and enjoy the beauty of today.

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Am I Missing My Child’s Heart?

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I read the sentence in above in the book I was reading this morning, Life-Giving Leadership by Julia Matter and it totally stopped me in my tracks. Of course the author had to use the pronoun her! Why not use he? It was just too personal to me. You see, I am having the hardest time with my little girl right now. She is five, going on ten. She pushes me on everything! She fights with me, argues with me, is attacking her brother and sisters daily… I feel like I am at the end of my rope with her. But do you know what bothers me the most? It’s her anger. She is always so angry. Nobody would ever know it. She is a sweet girl with a huge smile and matching personality. But behind that smile is a temper just waiting to explode at any moment.

The reason I have such a hard time with her anger is because I see myself in her. I know where she gets her anger from. She gets her anger from her Mama, and that’s what breaks my heart. (I am asking God for victory every day in this area.)

So that’s the back story of why these words stopped me this morning in my tracks. Is it possible that I am meeting all my daughter’s physical needs, including discipline and correction, yet totally missing her heart? I have been so focused on trying to get control of her temper, and teaching her to be nice, correcting her… but how is her heart? To be honest, I am not really sure. I have been so overwhelmed with her behavior that I haven’t had a chance to really do a heart check with her.

These words encouraged me to find some time this week to talk to her, to really talk to her– the kind of talk where I am not distracted by my other three children or all the things I need to do. To find out– how is her heart? What is going on inside that little five-year-old brain? Is she scared? Is she just bored? Does she feel unloved? Does she feel like she is competing for our attention? How is my little girl’s heart? I am committing myself to finding a time and place to be able to find out this week!

 

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