The Struggle

It seems that no matter how long we have been married, how much we have learned and grown, finances still seem to get the best of us. We just always seem to have trials based on money. I don’t know why. It must be our Achilles heel. Well, this year has been no exception. We had dentist appointments in March. Dentist appointments for our whole family are expensive! Add to that, one of our children always needs extra work done– which is always costly. So we were already behind financially when we found out from our accountant  (nine days before taxes were due) that our payroll company had messed up our taxes last year. We now owed a nice chunk of money to the IRS. We had some other minor bills that added to the stress of all this until it felt like it was just too much.

I get into these kinds of situations and panic. I know God is going to take care of us, and I know we are going to be fine. But the “planner” side of me starts to panic, especially when it doesn’t work out on paper. For weeks, I prayed and prayed, asked our kids to pray, and asked Matt to pray that God would miraculously provide all the money we needed. God didn’t answer that prayer; He didn’t provide extra money to help us out. Frankly, it didn’t feel like He was listening. When the time came for each of the bills to be paid, we were able to scrape together money, take money from our savings account, moved money from one place to another, and barely pay our bills.

I don’t know why God sometimes provides for these kinds of needs and doesn’t at other times.  We have had other times that an unexpected bill came or some other financial need, and God miraculously provided for it. Someone will send us a check in the mail, or somebody will give us money at church. Not this time. This time God seemed to be silent, almost like He was leaving it up to us to figure out.

Learning to Suffer Need

There are some interesting verses that caught my attention when I was wrestling in my mind and prayer life with all of this. These verses, written by Paul, are found in the book of Philippians. I read these verses in my devotions one morning, and they were such an encouragement to me.

I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound; every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. Philippians 4:12

I love how these verses are written, because I feel like they are a description of my life! There have been times in my life when I feel like God has opened the windows of Heaven and poured out His blessings financially into our lives. When we first started the work of getting ready to plant a church, I felt like this happened. God blessed and blessed us financially. We had so much money given to us and to the church. Soon after we started the church, though, it felt as if God turned the flow of blessings off. We have had many times of need since then. I feel just like Paul– I know both how to abound and how to suffer need.

Encouragement from Paul

What I find so interesting is the verse that comes next. The next verse is so familiar to me, but I don’t think I have ever put it into context before.

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Paul says he knows both how to abound and how to suffer need, and then he writes that He can do all things through Christ. I love this! Paul’s philosophy was this: “Whether abundance comes my way or great need, God will strengthen me to be able to handle it.” What an encouragement! God allows everything into my life for a reason, and He will give me the strength to be able to handle it.

I so needed this encouragement that God was not ignoring our needs. He did know and did care. Maybe He was allowing us to go through this time of need, just like Paul, so that through it we could say, “We made it through because Christ strengthened us.” God could so easily provide the money, but perhaps this was about so much more than money. Maybe He wanted to work on my heart instead, the part that has to trust Him completely. We have trusted God through financial difficulties before when He provided the money, but could we trust Him this time, even if He didn’t provide the money?

Are you are going through a season of need right now? Maybe it’s hospital bills, maybe it’s a mountain of debt, maybe it’s unemployment, maybe it’s a paycheck that just never seems to be enough to meet your family’s needs… Whatever it is, God sees your need, and He is allowing you to suffer that need right now. I don’t know why or how it is all going to work out, but I know Jesus will strengthen you to be able to handle it. You can make it through and be able to say, like Paul, “Whether abundance comes my way or great need, God will strengthen me to be able to handle it.”