Struggling with Shame

I am convinced that there is one thing that keeps us back from accomplishing what God wants us to do with our lives, more than anything else. This one thing has stopped people from dreaming, from fulfilling God’s plan for their lives, from doing something great with God. What is it? SHAME.

I think that we, as women, struggle with shame so much. We get to the point that we don’t even realize how much it weighs us down because we are so used to carrying it around. It simply becomes part of our every day load. Yet, God never intended for us to carry around guilt all the time. That is totally on us.

God’s Forgiveness

When God chose to forgive us, he did so not because we deserved it. He forgave us because of His mercy and kindness and love. He gave us new life through His spirit.

When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior.  Because of his grace he made us right in his sight and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.

Titus 3:4-7 NLT

So why do we choose to live in the guilt and shame of our past and sometimes present mistakes. Why do we convince ourselves that we aren’t enough? Why do we live in the shame and guilt of not enough?

I’m not doing enough.

I’m not a good enough mom.

I am not trying hard enough.

My kids deserve better.

My spouse deserves better.

I will never be more than this.

Flip the Script

We let our shame define us and define who we are, instead of letting God define who we are. We have to flip the script and personalize God’s truth.

I am a child of the most High God.

God created me perfectly and wonderfully.

God has adopted me, making me his family.

God loves me with unfailing love.

His mercy is fresh and available every single morning.

We have to change our thinking. We can’t allow negative thoughts to just swirl around in our heads all day long. Instead, we need to replace those negative thoughts of shame with truth. Paul explains that it’s like taking each thought captive.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

II Corinthians 10:5 NLT

When you feel those feelings of shame and not enough begin to creep up, choose to replace them with truth. Often those feelings come late at night, when everybody’s in bed, and it’s hard to sleep. That’s when we need to have a thought or a verse ready to think about.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement, check out my husband’s book, Unmasked: Overcoming the Shame that Says You’re Not Enough. Or check out my post, Offering Grace When I want to Offer Shame.