I read the sentence in above in the book I was reading this morning, Life-Giving Leadership by Julia Matter and it totally stopped me in my tracks. Of course the author had to use the pronoun her! Why not use he? It was just too personal to me. You see, I am having the hardest time with my little girl right now. She is five, going on ten. She pushes me on everything! She fights with me, argues with me, is attacking her brother and sisters daily… I feel like I am at the end of my rope with her. But do you know what bothers me the most? It’s her anger. She is always so angry. Nobody would ever know it. She is a sweet girl with a huge smile and matching personality. But behind that smile is a temper just waiting to explode at any moment.
The reason I have such a hard time with her anger is because I see myself in her. I know where she gets her anger from. She gets her anger from her Mama, and that’s what breaks my heart. (I am asking God for victory every day in this area.)
So that’s the back story of why these words stopped me this morning in my tracks. Is it possible that I am meeting all my daughter’s physical needs, including discipline and correction, yet totally missing her heart? I have been so focused on trying to get control of her temper, and teaching her to be nice, correcting her… but how is her heart? To be honest, I am not really sure. I have been so overwhelmed with her behavior that I haven’t had a chance to really do a heart check with her.
These words encouraged me to find some time this week to talk to her, to really talk to her– the kind of talk where I am not distracted by my other three children or all the things I need to do. To find out– how is her heart? What is going on inside that little five-year-old brain? Is she scared? Is she just bored? Does she feel unloved? Does she feel like she is competing for our attention? How is my little girl’s heart? I am committing myself to finding a time and place to be able to find out this week!
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