Taking Responsibility
One of the things that Matt and I deal with time and time again is the issue of taking personal responsibility for your life. I can’t tell you how many times we have sat across the table with people whose lives are absolutely a mess, and they look us straight in the face and say, “It’s not my fault. You don’t understand what happened to me.”
The fact of the matter is we don’t. We don’t know all that has happened to people. We’ve heard some heart-breaking stories over the areas—stories that nobody should have to go through! It breaks our hearts, and we know it breaks God’s heart. We don’t understand, but there is someone who does. God understands, and he has walked by their side every step of the way.
Turning to Something Else to Take Away the Pain
As horrible as our circumstances may be, God still expects us to live in a way that honors him. He expects us to turn to him and let him guide us through the trial. Yet, that’s the opposite of what most of us do. Most of us throw our hands up and say, “I can’t. I give up. This is too hard; I can’t do this.” When hard times hit, people give up on God, their families, their friends, their job…Soon all that’s left is a bottle. So they turn to that bottle, because at least the bottle is consistent. The bottle promises to help relieve the pain, take away the feeling of a broken heart. Satan convinces us that the answer is in that bottle, or that pill…that next high. And we have no idea that we are just driving ourselves further away from God and from others around us until we’ve lost absolutely everything.
I talked to three people just this week who are in this exact circumstance. The fact of the matter is that so many people convince themselves that what they’re going though is not their fault and it gives them permission to destroy their lives with whatever has a grip on them—drugs, alcohol, sex, spending money, gambling, pornography, anger, lust, and the list goes on and on.
Just a Victim of Our Circumstances
So many people feel like they are the victims of their circumstances. We fool ourselves into thinking that whatever has happened to us is not our fault, and therefore, we’re not responsible for our actions. The truth is that we are responsible for ourselves, our actions, and our lives no matter what life throws at us.
We all have life happen to us; what counts is how we respond. Nobody escapes this life problem free; none of us come out unscathed. Yet, we choose what happens next; we write the narrative on our lives.
It’s vital that we remember these three things:
- My life is my own personal responsibility.
- I have control over my life.
- What anybody else does or does not do has no control over me or my life.
The Reason God Allows Bad Things into Our Lives
Why do we have to go through bad things? Why does God allow testing to take place in our lives in the first place?
James gives us an idea of why God allows testing in the first chapter of his book.
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
James 1:2-4
The Goal
James explains to us that with testing comes an opportunity to grow in our faith and as a person. Every test that comes our way is a chance to grow our endurance. Then, when our endurance is fully developed, we will be perfect. The definition of perfect here is mature or complete. From these verses, we understand that the only way to become spiritually complete or mature is to grow our endurance by getting through trials, by learning to deal with life as it comes at us.
What’s the Goal?
The goal in all of this is not self-control; rather, it is spirit-control. We want to be guided by the Holy Spirit living inside of us, and not by ourselves. If that’s the goal, how do we know if we’re succeeding? Paul gives us a checklist in the book of Galatians.
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
Galatians 5:22,23
Spirit-Filled vs. Our Sinful Nature
Here’s how we know if we are spirit-controlled: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goddess, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control come flowing out of our life.
What is the opposite of that? What if we aren’t being led by the spirit’s control? Well, it will look like the list Paul gives only a few verses earlier.
When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these.
Galatians 5:19-21
Measuring Ourselves
So the test is to see which verses our lives line up with. Is it the first list or the second? That will give us an idea of how we’re doing. If our lives are lined up more with the second set of verses, then it’s time to change; and God can help us do just that.
It’s time to take responsibility for our lives, our choices, and our actions. Only then can we allow God to change us and become Spirit-led instead of self-led.
For More Encouragement
For more encouragement, check out my post, God Uses Trials to Develop Iron in Our Souls, and a good book recommendation is Get Out of that Pit by Beth Moore.
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