A Pity Party

Recently, I had a party. It was a party that no one else was invited to. It wasn’t fun, and it wasn’t pretty. There were no decorations and no cake. It was a good old-fashioned pity party. Ever had one of those?

Often, it seems to surprise us. We seem to be doing okay handling life’s problems and frustrations, and then bam! We start thinking about the unfairness of a situation, how our feelings got hurt, or how things aren’t working out. Before we realize it, we’re in the midst of a full-blown pity party.

The Danger of Self-Pity

Self-pity is a dangerous tool that Satan uses over and over again to bring us to our knees and make us ineffective. Patsy Clairmont, in her book I Second that Emotion, says

Pity is not pretty. Pity is emotional quicksand. I can think of no other feeling that will take you down as quickly. (Patsy Clairmont)

Once we reach the stage of a full-blown pity party, we might as well throw in the towel. We’re done. Self-pity keeps us from stepping into what God has for us, and it keeps us from focusing on those around us. When our problems become too big to us, God becomes small to us. When that happens, Satan has us right where he wants us.

David’s Problems

If anyone deserved to have a pity party, it was David. He was anointed by Samuel to be the next king of Israel, putting him in the bullseye of the current king, Saul. Saul threatens David’s life, and now David is on the run.

If I were in this situation, I would be swallowed up in self-pity, I’m sure. I would complain to God. Why me? Where are you, God? What is going to happen to me? Why can’t you just wipe out Saul? 

David does have times where he questions God and pours out his frustration to Him.  In Psalm 56, we find evidence of this.

Be merciful unto me, O God: for man would swallow me up; he fighting daily oppresseth me. 1

Mine enemies would daily swallow me up: for they be many that fight against me, O thou most High. 2

Every day they wrest my words: all their thoughts are against me for evil. 5

They gather themselves together, they hide themselves, they mark my steps, when they wait for my soul. 6

Shall they escape by iniquity? in thine anger cast down the people, O God. 7

David’s Turns his Focus Back to God

Yet David turns quickly from his negative thoughts and focuses his attention back on God.

When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me.    (vs. 9)

David understood the power of crying out to God for deliverance and trusted that God would deliver him. I love his boldness. He says, this I know. My favorite part of this verse is the next five words that come out of David’s mouth. …for God is for me. 

David had such absolute confidence that God was for him.  He doesn’t tiptoe around this truth, hoping and praying that God was for him. He boldly stakes his claim that he knew God Himself was in his corner.

Victory from Self-Pity

The best way to get out of a pit of self-pity is to remember, as David did, that God is for us. We are not a victim of our circumstances; we are children of God. He has perfectly created us and designed us to handle the lives He has given us. So it’s time to take a deep breath, surrender our feelings and frustrations to God, and step forward into what He has for us. God’s got this. He’s for us, and if He is for us, who can be against us?