Talking with a Friend this Week

Matt and I spent some time talking with a friend this week. We listened while she talked. She shared some frustrations, then broke down into tears. She poured out her heart with all that was burdening her.

One of the things Matt said to her during our conversation was this. “What we’re going through right now is unprecedented. Give yourself some grace to get through this.” We said a few more things and then went our separate ways.

I thought about that conversation this week and about the dozens of other similar conversations we have had. One thing Matt and I keep coming back to as we talk to different people is that this is a difficult time. There is no getting around that.

The Changes

I think it’s easy to forget what a big deal this Covid business has been. Because we are back at work, back to doing life somewhat normally, we forget how much it’s really affecting us. That is, until something happens and it reminds us how different life is right now.

Consider this: the Olympics was canceled this year. The Olympics Games have only ever been canceled in history due to world war. The Olympics was canceled in 1916 for World War I and again in 1940 and 1944 for World War II. That’s a pretty big deal!

Covid has changed so much in our everyday lives. In all my years of attending church, we never canceled church except for an isolated snow storm here or there. Then churches close down for months at a time. Overnight, moms had to become home school teachers. Kids who have been schooled their entire lives are suddenly stuck at home, trying to navigate their schooling online. Jobs changed, incomes changed, grocery shopping changed.

So much has changed in the past few months. Yet we forget that and don’t give ourselves the grace we need to get through what we’re dealing with right now; then we’re shocked when everything falls apart around us.

Now is Not the Time

I’m sure you’ve seen as I have, people’s lives fall apart during these past six months. We’ve watched as public figures, good Christian leaders, have blown it big time. Some have decided to get a divorce from their spouse. Other leaders have said or done stupid things, and their ministries have fallen apart because of it.

We need to be reminded of this- now is not the time. Now is not the time to get divorced from your spouse. Now is not the time to make a major life change. Instead, it’s time to dig deep and find God’s strength and grace to be the stabilizing force in your family’s life and in others’ lives around you. How can we find the stability we need?

Six Ways to Find Stability

1. Spend time every morning finding grace and strength from God’s Word and through prayer.

I do this through my morning time routine of Bible reading, prayer, and journaling. I use my Faithfully Stepping Journal for this. We can only find the stability we need by staying close to God during this time. It’s when we get far away from Him that we can’t make sense of things around us. That’s when Satan can step in and convince us to do something we never thought we would.

Matt and I just released He Still Calms Storms, a thirty-day devotional. If you’ve been struggling with what to read in your Bible each day, the answer may be this devotional. Each day includes a story to read to inspire you, Scriptures to study to guide you, and questions for self-reflection to help you.

2. Spend time reading good, uplifting books or listening to encouraging podcasts.

Check out my book and podcast suggestions here. Spending time being filled with thoughts about God and good will get our focus off our circumstances and keep us grounded.

3. When it gets too crazy, take a break.

Take a vacation day, go away for a few days by yourself or with your family. Do what you need to take the time off now before things escalate into something more serious. Even just a day or two away can bring clarity and perspective. It’s when we just keep plowing ahead that we can really get off and make some bad decisions.

4. Talk to somebody who’s further down the road than you.

Find someone that can speak wisdom into your life and tell you truthfully what you need to hear. Sometimes we need an honest, outside perspective to help us get back on track.

5. Use release writing to get what’s in your heart down on paper.

Release writing is the process of writing down everything that is in your heart concerning a particular situation. It can be an event, a hurt, whatever it is that has you unraveling at the moment. Write down everything that is in your heart- the confusion, the pain, the fear, the failure, the frustration, whatever it is. Get everything that is in your head down on paper. Only then can you begin to truly work through what it is you’re going through. Once you can see it all on paper, you can begin to pray about it specifically, find verses to help, and books to read. You can also then be able to talk to someone about what you’re going through and have a better grip on being able to explain it.

6. Seek out professional help or counseling.

If you are really struggling, one of the best things you can do is get help. Find a Christian counselor who can help you to understand what you’re going through and be able to walk that path with you. There are things in life that you may go through that you simply can’t get through by yourself. That’s what a counselor is for. They can give you the help you need to get back on track.

Now is not the time to make a life-changing decision. Right now is the time to focus on finding the stability and grounding we need to be able to stay faithful to God and our families and to be able to help bring stability to those around us.