My Reminder on Sunday

Sometimes I forget how valuable good friendships are, and then something happens to remind me. This past Sunday was just that. Matt and I were tired Sunday morning after a long week. We had been dealing with a difficult situation all week and were weary and discouraged. After church, good friends of ours stuck around until everyone had left just to talk to us. They asked how we were doing, asked what our thoughts were about some things, and just listened as we talked. The longer we talked, it was like the burden began to lift. They honestly couldn’t really do anything to fix the situation we were facing, but they began to help carry the burden with us. By the end of the conversation, my friend and I were laughing hysterically. Our husbands both stopped and looked at us and asked what was so funny. It was so good to laugh! It was so freeing. I didn’t realize how tense and worked up I had been.

Friends Help Carry Your Burdens

I left that conversation and went home with a smile on my face and a lightness in my heart. Nothing had changed, but at the same time, everything had changed. Our friends had come alongside and carried our burden with us. There is an old proverb that says:

A joy shared is a double joy. A burden shared is half a burden.

That is exactly how it feels when someone carries your burden with you. It doesn’t feel quite so heavy and cumbersome anymore, and you don’t feel so alone. When you are struggling, and your faith is waning, a good friend comes along and helps carry you through. They have faith enough for the both of you.

David and Jonathon

I think David felt this when Jonathon met with him in I Samuel 23. David had been on the run from Jonathon’s dad, King Saul for a long time. He was weary, tired, discouraged, even angry.

…And Saul sought him every day, but God delivered him not into his hand. I Samuel 23:14

David could not escape Saul. He was constantly on the run, constantly alert and vigilant. He had to be so worn out and discouraged. I find it interesting that Saul couldn’t find David, but just a few verses later, Jonathon is able to find and meet with David.

And Jonathon Saul’s son arose, and went to David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God. I Samuel 23:16

Jonathon goes to David and talks to him and encourages him and somehow he fortifies David’s faith in God. That’s what really good, Godly friends do. They strengthen your faith and fortify your spirit to keep trusting God and to keep staying faithful.

Good Friendships Take Work

This week reminded me to keep working on my friendships. Good friendships don’t come easy. They take work, but they are worth it! I remember a time when Matt and I didn’t really have any close friends. We have had to work to cultivate the friendships we have now.

3 Ways to Develop Deep Friendships

Here are three things we have learned over the years that have helped us to develop these kinds of friendships.

1. Be hospitable. Have friends over. Make a nice meal, play games, chat over dessert and coffee, watch a movie, do whatever works for you. The more time you spend together, the more the relationship will grow. And the more relaxed you are, the more relaxed your friends or potential friends will be, and that will help to cultivate a relationship.
2. Be real. Nobody likes a phony. As you try to grow friendships, let the real you show. You don’t want to pretend to be somebody you are not, or you will forever have to keep that up. Let people get close to the real you, and let them decide if they want to be your friend.
3. Just show up. Good friends keep showing up for each other. Keep listening to your friend’s burdens and frustrations. Don’t try to tell them how to fix things, or what to do differently. Simply be a friend. Go through life together– the good and the bad.

Photo credit: Tatiana Vavrikova