Tag Archives: car fire

Breaking Fear’s Stranglehold on My Life

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Did you know it’s impossible to have faith and be afraid at the same time? It’s impossible to have faith and yet fear. Try it. Think of something that makes you terrified or anxious; then think of how God watches over you and protects you. You won’t be able to hang on to the fear when believing, and you won’t be able to hang on to the faith when fear takes over.

Waking Out of a Dead Sleep

Have you ever been woken out of the middle of a dead sleep with fear coursing through you? Several years ago, I had to testify in a custody court case for a woman in our church. Soon after, we were woken in the middle of the night with a car fire. When the tires blew out, the exploding sound woke us up out of a dead sleep. When we looked out the window and saw the flames shooting high into the sky, right next to the room where our three little ones slept, fear shot into me so hard and fast. Someone pounded on our front door, telling us to grab our kids and get out.

There’s nothing like running out of your house in your pajamas with little kids hanging off of you. I remember feeling the biast of the heat hit my face as soon as I stepped out. Neighbors were shouting this and that as we got away from the blazing fire. Eventually, the fire trucks got there and put out the fire. We were safe; none of us had been harmed. But the fear that entered my heart that night didn’t go away for a long time.

No Longer Feeling Safe

The home that we loved suddenly no longer felt safe. I woke up every night around three in the morning with my heart pounding in my chest. I would leave my room and go check on our sleeping children before making my way back to my room.

The aftermath of that fire affected me for a long time with sleepless nights and fear that had a stranglehold on me. It took a long time for me to get victory, but with God’s help, eventually the fear started to fade and I could sleep through the night again.

The only thing that helped during those nights when fear would wrap its icy tentacles around my heart was God’s Word. I said the same few verses over and over and over again.

Breaking Fear’s Stronghold

I have found the only way to conquer fear is God’s Word. These two verses were and still are the verses that I flood my mind with when fear takes over.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

But when I am afraid,
    I will put my trust in you.

Psalm 56:3 NLT

When I say these verses either out loud or in my mind, my faith begins to beat back the fear. Fear can not keep its stranglehold on us when faith beats it back.

I encourage you to memorize these verses and add them to your arsenal. The next time fear tries to control you, say these verses out loud or in your mind. The fear gripping your heart will begin to ease, and faith will beat it back. Peace will flood your heart and soul. Faith wins over fear every single time.

The Storm

We see this in the story in the New Testament. The disciples get caught in a storm and think they are going to die. It must have been quite the storm to scare seasoned fishermen. They wake up Jesus, who was asleep in the boat with them, and ask Him to save them. Before Jesus calms the storm, He has these words to say to them.

Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm.

Matthew 8:26 NLT

Jesus was showing us that it is impossible to have both fear and faith in control at the same time; only one will win. Let’s let faith be the winner. Let your faith grow strong, and your fear will take a backseat.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement, check out my post, 3 Steps to Releasing Worry and Fear. If you want to know more of my story, check out my book, The Hidden Pain: When You Fear God is No Longer Blessing Your Life.

What to do When You Can’t Sleep at Night

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girl unable to sleep

I’ve always been the kind of person that falls asleep pretty much as soon as my head hits the pillow; I never really struggled with insomnia. That is, until a few years ago.

Our Car Fire

A few years ago, we experienced a car fire in the middle of the night. I was in the middle of a sound sleep when I heard a loud sound. My eyes shot open, and I laid in bed for a moment, trying to figure out what in the world the sound was. Moments later, somebody started banging on the front door. I quickly woke up Matt and ran into the kids’ room to check on them.

Matt ran down the stairs and opened the door for the police officer, that was banging on our door; and I woke up our two older kids and grabbed our third from her crib and raced down the stairs. We stepped outside and immediately felt the blast of heat hit us. I looked over and saw flames shooting high into the sky as we ran down the steps and away from our home.

Eventually, the firefighters came and put out the fire. We found out sometime later from the detective on the case that it had been intentionally set. The fear that came from that night stayed with me for a long time.

Insomnia

For months after the fire, I woke up every night between 2:30 and 3:00am. No matter how tired I was, I woke up single every night. It was exhausting and a dark time in my life. I really struggled with fear and consequently, with sleeping at night.

During that season of my life, I put some things into practice to help me be able to get past the fear and to be able to start sleeping all night again. I still use those practices today.

If you’ve ever struggled with insomnia because of fear or lack of peace or worry, it’s so frustrating. You can’t sleep because of something, and then that something just gets worse because you’re not sleeping. It’s a circular problem. A lot of women that I talk to struggle with sleeping well at night, whether that’s because of fear, shame, worry, anxiety, or something else.

Help for When You Can’t Sleep

Here are the things that helped me get through that time that I still do nightly:

  1. Every night before I go to bed, I spend just a few minutes in prayer. I thank God for something good that day, confess anything I need to from the day, and pray for a good night’s sleep and safety around each of us and our home as we sleep.
  2. Every night when I get into bed, I open up YouVersion on my phone and read a Psalm before going to sleep. I do this so that it’s the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep.
  3. During that time my life when I couldn’t sleep, I started memorizing passages of Scripture to say to myself at night when I couldn’t sleep. There’s something about reciting verses at night that helps you to relax. Not always, but most times, if I can’t sleep and I start reciting a passage of Scripture, I will usually fall asleep around verses 10-13. If I’m having a rough night and can’t get to sleep or wake up and can’t get back to sleep, I will start reciting those verses to myself until I fall asleep again. If I am particularly struggling with fear, I will recite verses about fear to myself repeatedly.

Verses to Memorize for When You Can’t Sleep

If you’re looking for some great verses to memorize to help you sleep at night, here’s a few good ones:

  1. Psalm 4:8 In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.
  2. II Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
  3. Romans 8:38-39 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Passages of Scripture to Memorize for When You Can’t Sleep

  1. Psalm 23
  2. James 1
  3. Psalm 100
  4. Psalm 91
  5. John 14:1-6

I hope this post gives you a few things to try when you can’t sleep.

More Encouragement

If you want to know more about my story with all this, check out my book, The Hidden Pain: When You Fear God is No Longer Blessing Your Life or read my post The Hidden Pain—a Peek into the Book I’m writing.

10 Things You Can Do to Combat Burnout

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girl with head on desk in burnout

My Friend’s Text

A friend of mine messaged me this week that she is at the edge of burnout. She didn’t use those words exactly, but after she told me how she is feeling…that is the word I would use to describe what she’s going through. She told me she feels tapped out in every area of life and just can’t keep going. That is the very definition of burnout. Webster’s Dictionary defines burnout as “exhaustion of physical or emotional strength usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustration.”

Have you been there? Are you there right now? We all have times in our lives when we just hit the wall, when we just absolutely feel like we can’t keep going. With life so incredibly stressful now with the lasting impact of Covid, the social unrest, the stress of finances, and more, so many of us are facing burnout.

My Burnout

I went through a season of serious burnout about six years ago. It was right on the heels of a car fire we had. Multiple things merged during that time that sent me spiraling into burnout. 


Because of the real fear I felt, knowing that someone had set fire to our car, I no longer slept well at night. Add to that a baby and a toddler and two other young kids, I was exhausted all the time. This was also around the time that we had several church members get mad at us and leave the church. On top of all that, we were trying to grow our church and find a new building to meet in. I was past being able to handle life.


I felt unloved, helpless, overlooked, overworked, exhausted, tapped out, and stressed out of my mind. What resulted was an inability to be around people. That is not good when you’re a pastor’s wife. Although I knew it wasn’t healthy, I honestly just could not be around people. I just wanted to be alone or with my family. This, in turn, only added to my guilt and frustration.

It took me a good eighteen months to get through that season of life. Though it was long and hard, God got me through it.

How are You Handling Life?

Have you been there? Are you there now? Everybody handles burnout differently. You may be handling your burnout fine all day at work, but then you come home and fall apart. You eat junk food and binge tv late into the night to cope. Maybe you’re home all day with kids that are home from school from covid and you can’t take one more minute. So what results is mom screaming and yelling all day long, only to fall in bed at night in tears for the way you handled yourself with your kids. Maybe you pull away from everybody and spend copious time alone. Maybe you try to find an escape, spending money you don’t have just to feel good and try to find an escape. I am guilty of doing all of these things at one time or another.

Encouragement


Let me first encourage you that burnout is not bad. Burnout is simply your body and mind’s way of telling you you’ve pushed too hard for too long. It’s a warning that if you don’t back off now, there will be literal physical consequences to your body. 
So if you’re in a season of burnout right now, it’s time to stop and notice what your body is trying to tell you.

Let me share with you some things that helped me. Hopefully, one or two of them will help you get through your season of burnout.

10 Things You Can Do to Combat Burnout

  1. Get extra rest. During this season, you are going to need more rest than usual. Find ways to get extra rest. Fit in a nap when you can. Try to go to bed earlier at night on the nights you can.
  2. Plan a weekly day off. You need to have one day a week that you do nothing stressful. Do something that you enjoy on that day.
  3. Find quiet time. Find time away from everybody, away from the traffic and noise of the city, and go somewhere to find peace and quiet, even if it’s only for an hour. Go sit at a park, take a walk, find a lake to sit next to…do something to get away for just a little bit and give yourself breathing room.
  4. Remove extracurricular activities for a time. Get rid of anything but the essentials. Say not to anything you can just until you get past this season. You need to find ways to remove some of the stress right now.
  5. Make things easy for yourself right now. Throw food in the crock pot every morning so you don’t face 5pm decision fatigue trying what to decide to cook for dinner. Order groceries online and pick them up or better yet, get them delivered. 
  6. Develop a morning time routine. It’s imperative that you find time to spend with God daily right now. This will help keep you grounded and keep you from spiraling out of control and doing something you regret.
  7. Read an encouraging book. Find a book that can encourage your heart.
  8. Listen to uplifting Christian music. Create a list of music on Spotify that contains only spiritually uplifting music.
  9. Do something for yourself for fun. Buy a new book, some new art supplies, a cute shirt or pair of shoes, a writing journal, a new wall painting, or whatever small joy that brings a smile to your face.
  10. Let someone know you are struggling so they can pray for you and check in with you. Suffering alone is the absolute worst thing you can do.

This Time Will Come to an End

It’s important to remember that nothing lasts forever. This season of burnout won’t last forever, even though it feels like it will. God will get you through this season. Stay faithful to Him and let Him carry you through this time. Here’s a few verses to encourage your heart.

Thank God because he’s good, because his love never quits.

Psalm 118:1 MSG

In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free.

Psalm 118:5 NLT

I was right on the cliff-edge, ready to fall, when God grabbed and held me.

Psalm 118:13 MSG

No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.

I Corinthians 10:13 MSG

More on This Topic

For More Encouragement on this topic, check out my post Fresh Hope for a Burned-Out Life. I recommend Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequist and Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace and Purpose in a World of Crazy by All Worthington.