I am convinced that each of us has a cross to bear in this life. It shouldn’t come as a surprise. Jesus told the people of his day that if they didn’t pick up their cross and follow him, they couldn’t be one of his disciples.

And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.

Luke 14:27

What’s Our Cross?

It’s sometimes hard to know what he was talking about. It’s kind of confusing. How do we know what cross it is we’re supposed to bear? This thought is so familiar to us as Christians, and yet I’ve never really fully grasped what Jesus meant.

But the longer I’ve been a Christian and the longer I live this life, I have come to believe that each of us is given a cross to bear. Our crosses all look different, but I believe that God gives each of us something difficult in this life that we have to choose to pick up and carry every single day.

Something Different for Each of Us

For my daughter Macey, it’s type 1 diabetes. There is no cure, and she will have that disease for the rest of her life. For my mom, it’s a lifelong debilitating disease. For my husband and I, it’s been financial burden and the weight of a small church. My friend’s cross is being single for so many years and wanting so desperately to be married. For another friend of mine, it’s being stuck in a bad marriage. Another friend of mine faces debilitating mental health. I could go on and on. 

For each of us, it’s something different. But it’s our “thorn in the flesh,” just like Paul had. It’s something God gives us to keep us humble and keep us trusting in him. 

Jesus taught us that we have to pick up our cross every day to be a follower of him. How does that work? Why would he say that? Does he not love us?

The Answer to Why?

On the contrary, God knows if he gives us something that’s “our cross to bear” in this life, it will drive us to our knees every single day. We will have to depend on him. There’s no chance of making it through this life without him. 

There are so many questions we don’t have answers to this side of Heaven. Kay Warren says we should write those questions down and save them for Heaven one day. Your cross to bear—loss, a bad marriage, divorce, singleness, infertility, poverty, health problems, a wayward child, a blended family, being wronged…is one of those questions to ask God one day. I don’t have the answers. 

Encouragement from the Psalms

I think of the verses that the Psalmist writes in Psalm 77.

When I was in deep trouble,
    I searched for the Lord.
All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven,
    but my soul was not comforted.

And I said, “This is my fate;
    the Most High has turned his hand against me.”

Psalm 77: 2, 11

From Hopelessness to Hopeful

You can feel the hopelessness, the sense that God doesn’t care, that he’s turned against us. But thankfully he doesn’t stop there.

But then I recall all you have done, O Lord;
    I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.

Psalm 77:12

What was the answer to his desperation? To remember the things God has done in the past. That’s the same answer for us today. How do you pick up your cross every single day? How do you deal with whatever it is God has given you as your cross in this life? You remember what he did for you in the past. You focus on the fact that God got you through yesterday, and he will get you through today.

So you choose each day to pick up whatever it is God has given you to deal with in this life, and you choose to carry it, while following Jesus. And just maybe, lead some others to Jesus along the way.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement on this topic, check out my post, Handling Trials, or check out my book, The Hidden Pain.