Questioning God Doesn’t Help

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Questioning God sounds so horribly wrong, yet most of us do it the moment a trial comes into our life or things don’t go as we had planned.

I have been reading the book of Job as a part of my morning time. Job has so many amazing hidden gems in it. If you have been around church for any length of time, you are probably familiar with the story of Job. Job’s ten children died on the same day that he lost all his livestock and servants. Soon after that, Job lost his health. Job went from being incredibly wealthy and a well-known man of means, to a nobody who lost everything.

Where Is God?

Job 23 finds Job in the midst of his suffering. He is desperately trying to understand what is going on in his life and where God is during this time.

Oh that I knew where I might find him (God)! that I might come even to his seat! (verse 3)

I would order my cause before him, and fill my mouth with arguments. (verse 4)

I would know the words which he would answer me, and understand what he would say unto me. (verse 5)

As you read these words, can you feel Job’s desperation? His greatest desire in the midst of his  trial is to find God. He wants to argue his case before God. He wants to ask the questions that we all desire to ask of God when we are in a trial. Why God? Why me? What have I done wrong? Where are You? Do you see my pain? Do you care?

Will God Answer?

Job wants to ask God these questions; then He wants to hear God’s answers. What would God say? Job wants to know and be able to understand God’s answers. The next few words out of Job’s mouth give a really good picture of the wisdom that Job has. Job says in the first part of verse 6:

Will he plead against me with his great power? No… (verse 6)

The word plead here means “to grapple, to contend, to debate.” Job ponders– “If I was able to plead my case directly with God Himself and ask Him all my questions, would He debate with me?” Don’t miss Job’s answer. He answers for God– no. Deep in his heart, Job knows that even if he had a chance to talk to God about his pain and hurt that God would not use His great power to force Job to see things God’s way.

God Doesn’t Give an Explanation

Job recognized that God doesn’t owe us an explanation. Even if He did give us an explanation, our finite minds couldn’t even understand it. God is not going to fight with us to prove His point or debate with us. That is not how our loving Heavenly Father works.

Notice the next few words from Job:

Will he plead against me with his great power? No; but he would put strength in me. (verse 6)

Job understood that God was not going to debate with him to answer his questions. Instead, Job understood that God would simply fill him with strength to endure his trial.

We Won’t Get the Answers Now

As much as we want answers, I don’t know that it would change anything. I don’t even know if I would want to know. It could be painful. What if God told me right now why our church plant won’t take off– would I want to know? If God were to tell my mom why she has had a debilitating disease most of her life– would it make it any easier? If God told my dear friend why her precious grandson got cancer and passed away just weeks before his 20th birthday– would the pain be any easier to bear?

As much as we want answers, even demand them, God knows we probably couldn’t handle them. So until we get to Heaven, God just gives us the strength to handle what comes our way.

As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him. It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. (Psalm 18:30, 32)

 

person walking on rocks

Photo credit: Jordan Whitt

 

The Best Part of a Beach Vacation

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Matt with our crazies at the beach

Summertime at the Beach

It’s summertime! For us, that means it’s time to pack up and head to the beach for a few days. There are a few reasons I love going to the beach for a week. First of all, it’s a change of pace. I get to take a break from schedules, to-do-lists, and pressures. I get to spend more time playing with my kids and talking with my husband and extended family. Second, it’s a change of place. Because I am not at home, I don’t have as many responsibilities to tend to. I get extra time to read and relax.

My Favorite Thing to Do at the Beach

But my most favorite reason for spending a week at the beach is the chance to get closer to God. My favorite thing to do is to get up early in the morning, make a cup of coffee, grab my Bible and my journal and head outside to the patio. Outside I feel the cool breeze and hear the lull of the waves. I soak in the peace and quiet and beauty of the early morning and begin the best part of my day.

I open my journal and write down my praises, my sins to confess, and my prayer requests for the day. Next, I pray through those; then I usually spend a few extra minutes just talking to God and telling Him what’s on my heart. After that, I take a few minutes to be quiet and still. Finally, I open my Bible and read.

The peace that I feel when I have finished my morning time with God is amazing. It is always good to spend time with God, but there is something extra special about it at the beach! I always feel closer to God when I am at the beach. I love that feeling of closeness.

Getting Closer to God

One morning while I was at the beach, I read James chapter 4 and came across a familiar verse.

James 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you.

I love this verse, and I spent a few minutes thinking about it. This verse is so simple, yet so profound. Sometimes I come to a point where I feel so far away from God. I feel like He doesn’t hear me, like He isn’t there for me. During these times, I need to remember that God hasn’t gone anywhere; He is still right where He was. It’s me that’s moved. Maybe I have gotten too busy to hear His voice in the rush of things, maybe I haven’t spent as much time as I need to in my morning time with Him, or maybe sin has separated me from feeling His presence. Whatever the case, this verse is a reminder to draw close to God once again. I need to stop the craziness, grab my Bible and journal, and spend some quality time talking to God, listening to Him, and reading His Word.

The beach is my favorite place to get closer to God, but I don’t have to be at the beach for that to happen. I simply have to choose to take the time and effort to draw close to God, and He in turn will draw close to me.

 

 

 

The Only Difference Between Winners and Losers

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Desiring to Win

We all want to be winners in life, don’t we? We want to win in our finances, our jobs, our homes, our marriages, our kids, and so much more. I do too; so I read books, listen to podcasts, subscribe to blogs, take classes, and continue to learn and grow. Yet I feel so often like I am not making progress. The goals I had last year are the same goals I have for this year. The dreams I have are just that–they are still dreams. I want to do amazing things and accomplish great goals, yet I feel like I am stuck.

Spinning My Wheels

Sometimes I feel like I am just spinning my wheels; I feel like I am never going to accomplish what I want to accomplish. I take a few steps forward and then everything comes crashing down. We start getting out of debt; then unexpected circumstances and bills put us behind. I start making progress getting my house organized and cleaned; then I get sick and the whole house turns into a disaster zone. Our small church starts to gain a little momentum and grow; then we lose two families. I feel like I’m making progress in being a more loving mom to my kids; then something happens and I totally lose it and yell at my kids.

Getting Back Up Again

I was listening to preaching the other day and heard this quote that caught my attention:

“Everybody wins, and everybody loses. The difference between winners and losers is that winners get back up again.” (Rick Warren, Saddleback Church)

Hearing him say that was such an encouragement, because I fail so often! The Bible has something to say about this concept in the book of Proverbs.

“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.” Proverbs 24:1

The only difference between winners and losers is that winners choose to get back up again. They don’t give up. They choose to stand back up after failure, brush themselves off, and go at it again.

Trolls Song

My kids love watching the movie Trolls that came out a few months ago. In the movie, Poppy, the main character, sings a song called Get Back Up Again. I love the lyrics! It goes right in line with this thought.

Hey!
I’m not giving up today
There’s nothing getting in my way
And if you knock-knock me over
I will get back up again
Oh!
If something goes a little wrong
Well you can go ahead and bring it on
‘Cause if you knock-knock me over, I will get back up again

Do you have any dreams that you have given up on? What failures have knocked you down?  Choose today to stand up, brush yourself off and go at it again. You got this!

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Girl walking on path

Spontaneous Summer Fun

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kids having fun on side of pool

Pool Fun– my kids and my sister’s kids (minus one of her kids that wasn’t around for this pic)

I am a very planned-out person. I love making plans, schedules, to-do lists, etc. I am not one of those spur-of-the moment types of people. Some people call that boring; I call it productive. Anyway, it is something I am trying to work on. I want to be a more fun person to be around, especially for my kids! Well, this week I got my chance to work on it.

On Sunday night around 11pm, just as I was drifting off to sleep, my phone rang. I picked it up and looked at it. It was my sister. I answered, and she told me that she and her husband and four kids were headed on family vacation the next day. They were going to be stopping just about an hour away from our house, and she wanted to know if we wanted to meet up with them. We only get to see them once or twice a year, so this was really exciting news. I hesitated for just a split second, thinking about how I would make all the details work. I stopped myself before I could talk myself out of it and said, “Yes. We would love to!” We finished talking and hung up.

I realized as I hung up that I didn’t really know any of the details, or how this was all going to work. I looked at my husband and said, “So, we are going to meet up with my sister and her kiddos tomorrow. Is that OK?” He graciously said yes, and we went to bed.

The next morning was a flurry of activity, getting our kids up and ready for the day. They were ecstatic when we told them they were going to spend the day with their cousins. My sister asked the manager at the hotel they were staying at if it would be OK for us to come swim with them.The manager said it was fine. So we grabbed swimsuits, towels, goggles, pool noodles, and packed the van and hit the road.

We met them for a fun lunch at Sonic. Then we headed back to their hotel to get ready to swim. Sometime during the craziness of getting seven kids ages eight and under ready to go swimming in one small hotel room, my husband came and told me that he was going to book us a room for the night. My initial “planner” personality kicked in… We didn’t plan that into our budget. What about clothes? What about cosmetics? But I decided in that moment to put all that aside and just roll with it– definitely something I am not good at doing.

two little girls sitting on edge of pool having fun

Our two little girls– cousins

We ended up having an amazing time! I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time! We had so much fun swimming together. That night we all went to Friday’s for dinner. You should have seen the hostess’s face when we asked for a table for 12! We got endless appetizers and yummy meals and enjoyed talking and laughing some more. After dinner, we went back to the pool and let the kids  go swimming again. I ran to Dollar Tree and got a few cosmetics and then hit Target to grab t-shirts for our family for the next day.

It all worked out. It was a crazy but amazing 24 hours. I can’t think of how much I would have missed if I had said no. It’s summer! It’s the time for crazy plans, pool parties, and family fun. I am so glad I just said yes and went with it!

What is something you have done that was crazy and last minute but turned out awesome? I would love to hear about it! Leave me a message in the comments section!

kids sitting on couch having fun

Five of the eight cousins waiting for a table at Friday’s

A Book Every Christian Should Read

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Imagine Heaven Book Review

(Note: The link in this post is an affiliate link, and I will be compensated when you make a purchase by clicking on my link. Please read my disclosure policy here.)

A Skeptic

I just finished reading Imagine Heaven by John Burke. Matt bought this book to read as preparation for a sermon series on Heaven. At first, I was really skeptical about the book. I have always been skeptical of near death experiences and people who claim to have gone to Heaven and seen Jesus, but Matt started telling me about the first chapter and I was hooked. I decided to read it, and I am so glad I did! It changed my thinking on a very deep level about Heaven and how we see Jesus and much more. I read a lot of books, but this book has just moved to the top of my list of books I recommend.

The Controversy

I do realize that this is a very controversial topic and book. There are good leaders and pastors on both sides of the issue. I think it is definitely worth the read no matter which side you are on. The simple fact is that people are curious about Heaven. They’re reading books and watching movies about Heaven. Whatever your preconceived ideas are, put them away and read the book with an open mind. It will challenge the way you think about Heaven, life here on earth, Jesus, what is to come, God’s love, and so much more!

When God Doesn’t Meet My Need

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The Struggle

It seems that no matter how long we have been married, how much we have learned and grown, finances still seem to get the best of us. We just always seem to have trials based on money. I don’t know why. It must be our Achilles heel. Well, this year has been no exception. We had dentist appointments in March. Dentist appointments for our whole family are expensive! Add to that, one of our children always needs extra work done– which is always costly. So we were already behind financially when we found out from our accountant  (nine days before taxes were due) that our payroll company had messed up our taxes last year. We now owed a nice chunk of money to the IRS. We had some other minor bills that added to the stress of all this until it felt like it was just too much.

I get into these kinds of situations and panic. I know God is going to take care of us, and I know we are going to be fine. But the “planner” side of me starts to panic, especially when it doesn’t work out on paper. For weeks, I prayed and prayed, asked our kids to pray, and asked Matt to pray that God would miraculously provide all the money we needed. God didn’t answer that prayer; He didn’t provide extra money to help us out. Frankly, it didn’t feel like He was listening. When the time came for each of the bills to be paid, we were able to scrape together money, take money from our savings account, moved money from one place to another, and barely pay our bills.

I don’t know why God sometimes provides for these kinds of needs and doesn’t at other times.  We have had other times that an unexpected bill came or some other financial need, and God miraculously provided for it. Someone will send us a check in the mail, or somebody will give us money at church. Not this time. This time God seemed to be silent, almost like He was leaving it up to us to figure out.

Learning to Suffer Need

There are some interesting verses that caught my attention when I was wrestling in my mind and prayer life with all of this. These verses, written by Paul, are found in the book of Philippians. I read these verses in my devotions one morning, and they were such an encouragement to me.

I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound; every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. Philippians 4:12

I love how these verses are written, because I feel like they are a description of my life! There have been times in my life when I feel like God has opened the windows of Heaven and poured out His blessings financially into our lives. When we first started the work of getting ready to plant a church, I felt like this happened. God blessed and blessed us financially. We had so much money given to us and to the church. Soon after we started the church, though, it felt as if God turned the flow of blessings off. We have had many times of need since then. I feel just like Paul– I know both how to abound and how to suffer need.

Encouragement from Paul

What I find so interesting is the verse that comes next. The next verse is so familiar to me, but I don’t think I have ever put it into context before.

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Bible open to a verse

Paul says he knows both how to abound and how to suffer need, and then he writes that He can do all things through Christ. I love this! Paul’s philosophy was this: “Whether abundance comes my way or great need, God will strengthen me to be able to handle it.” What an encouragement! God allows everything into my life for a reason, and He will give me the strength to be able to handle it.

I so needed this encouragement that God was not ignoring our needs. He did know and did care. Maybe He was allowing us to go through this time of need, just like Paul, so that through it we could say, “We made it through because Christ strengthened us.” God could so easily provide the money, but perhaps this was about so much more than money. Maybe He wanted to work on my heart instead, the part that has to trust Him completely. We have trusted God through financial difficulties before when He provided the money, but could we trust Him this time, even if He didn’t provide the money?

Are you are going through a season of need right now? Maybe it’s hospital bills, maybe it’s a mountain of debt, maybe it’s unemployment, maybe it’s a paycheck that just never seems to be enough to meet your family’s needs… Whatever it is, God sees your need, and He is allowing you to suffer that need right now. I don’t know why or how it is all going to work out, but I know Jesus will strengthen you to be able to handle it. You can make it through and be able to say, like Paul, “Whether abundance comes my way or great need, God will strengthen me to be able to handle it.”

Guaranteed Success for Moms

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All Different Mom Types

There are so many types of moms out there. There are strict moms, fun moms, organized moms, scatterbrained moms, funny moms, serious moms, boring moms, safe moms, edgy moms, creative moms, techie moms, sporty moms, artsy moms, saver moms, spender moms, fashion moms, entrepreneurial moms, working moms, stay-at-home moms, leader moms, baker moms, and so many more. That list intimidates me. When I see a list like that, I feel like I have to be every one of those, plus some. I don’t do many play dates, coffee dates with friends, phone calls with friends, and more because I always compare myself to whoever I am hanging out with; and I always fall short. Do you ever feel that way?

There is a verse in the Bible that applies to this issue that always catches my attention.

II Corinthians 10:12 …but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

This is something I have really struggled with over the years and am trying to work on. I have spent the past few years trying to figure out who I am, what I am passionate about, and learning to be comfortable with my own personality, passions, and talents. Thanks to Mark Gungor and his flag page test, I am learning to step into who I am. I am faithful, creative, independent, musical, and inspirational. There are a lot of characteristics and attributes that I do not have, but I choose not to focus on those. I choose to focus on my strengths and not get frustrated and discouraged when I see my weaknesses as strengths in other Moms.  I can rest content in the Mom I am because God made me specifically this way to be a Mom to Malachi, Madison, Maggie, and Macey.

Content to be Me

I am learning to be OK with who I am, and I’m making progress! Last week I called two of my friends and scheduled a play date for last Friday. We had an awesome time! I saw in them strengths that I don’t have, but that’s OK. God made them perfectly to be the best Mom they can be to their own children.

God has made each of us specifically and uniquely. He has given you talents and abilities and passions that He has not given me; that’s why we can be friends. If we were the same, one of us wouldn’t be needed. I am the only one that can be my children’s Mom, and you are the only one that can be the Mom your children need.

On this Mother’s Day, I am choosing to be OK with who I am. I am loved by God, loved by my husband, and loved by my kids… and that is enough. I am guaranteed success as a Mom when I choose to be who God created me to be, when I choose to simply be me.

picture of my kids and I

Left to Right: Madison, Maggie, Malachi, my Mother-in-law, me, and Macey

All the Ways My Husband Has Hurt Me

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The Fight

A few years ago, Matt and I had a fight. This wasn’t just any fight. This was a doozy. To this day, I don’t even remember what it was about. All I know is that I was mad. I remember taking out a notebook. Whenever I am upset and need to process what I am feeling, I always write down everything I am thinking and feeling in a journal. Well, this day, I decided to title the page– “All the Ways my Husband Has Hurt Me.” Basically it was everything I wanted to say to his face. I began a list, a long list of all the ways he had hurt me, the things he was wrong about, why I was upset at him, and so on. I came up with a lot. Honestly, I felt better when I got done writing. Then I sat and thought about how it was going to feel so good to prove my point and show him just how much he had hurt me.

Suddenly, I saw another expression in my mind’s eye. It was an expression of deep hurt on my husband’s face. I knew that if I gave him this paper, it would crush him. Was it worth it? Was it worth hurting him so badly just to prove my point? Just to prove that he was wrong and I was right? I knew it wasn’t. So I took the piece of paper, looked at it one last time, then ripped it out of the notebook, tore it up and threw it away.

I turned to another page in my notebook and began a new list. I entitled it– “The Things I Love About Matthew.” It took me a few begrudging minutes to get started, but then the words began to flow from my mind to the paper. By the time I was done, I had completely filled a paper, front and back, of what I love and appreciate about my husband.

The Resolution

A few hours later when Matt came back home, I didn’t say anything. I simply handed the paper to him. At that point, I was no longer angry. I had dealt with the problem. I asked God to forgive me where I was wrong, and I remembered again that the enemy was not my husband. I watched as Matt’s face fell before he even read the paper. I could see that he thought he knew what was coming and it wasn’t going to be good. Then I watched as he read the front, turned it over and read the back. By the time he got to the end, he had tears in his eyes. He said, “I’m so sorry,” and pulled me in for a tight hug.

We spent the next several hours discussing things, apologizing, and dealing with the problems. There have been so many times I have not handled our fights the right way. In fact, I’m ashamed to say that it took several years into our marriage for me to ever be the first to apologize. On that day, I finally did the right thing. Simply writing that list changed my attitude towards my husband, and that changed everything!

Obviously, that is not the last fight we have ever had. We still fight. Matt still hurts my feelings, and I still hurt him. Every couple fights, but when we focus on being kind and dealing with the problem instead of attacking each other, our relationship is not so devastated by these fights. We call this “fighting clean.” How I choose to respond to Matt in the midst of our worst fights has the power to heal the hurts between us or to deepen them and risk destroying our relationship.

 

Encouragement for the Weary Soul

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Picture by John Mark Kuznietsov

Sometimes I am just weary. There really isn’t a better way to describe it than the word weary. The word itself even sounds tired. The last few weeks around my home have made me weary. The kids have been at each other all day every day, my girls have been throwing fits again constantly, we had some unexpected bills that put us behind financially, my husband has been having some problems with his feet, we usually take a vacation this time of year but can’t right now… the list goes on. Nothing horrible has happened, but when the everyday problems seem to keep accumulating without any reprieve, I get so weary. So when I read this verse in my morning Bible reading, it was such an encouragement to my heart!

For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul.                  Jeremiah 31:25

The word satiate means “to quench; to extinguish.” The word weary means “faint, thirsty, to languish.” The word replenish means “to fill.” So God is saying that He quenches the thirsty and faint soul, and He fills the sorrowful soul. This is where I am right now. I feel faint-hearted and thirsty for more. I just can’t get enough done in a day, I can’t get my kids to stop fighting and having a bad attitude, I can’t be a good mom, and the list goes on. As much as I want to, I can’t fix this. I can’t satiate my weary soul, only God can.

I love the verse that comes next. In the next verse, Jeremiah writes,

Upon this I awaked, and beheld; and my sleep was sweet unto me. Jeremiah 31:26

When Jeremiah gets a hold of this truth, he starts sleeping better at night. He realizes that God will quench or satiate his weary soul and comfort his sorrowful soul. He realizes he can’t do anything about it. This makes me think of one of my favorite verses that I so often don’t follow.

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. I Peter 5:7

God didn’t create us to carry our own burdens. Every time I try to carry my own burdens, I get desperately weary. Only when I take those burdens to the Lord in prayer and stop worrying about them do I get the rest and care that I need.

So my encouragement for today is that God satiates (or fills) my weary soul and He carries my burdens for me.  If you are weary today, talk to God. Let Him take your burdens for you and let Him fill you up. That is the only recovery for a weary soul.

 

Stop Wavering in My Prayers

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Do you ever ask God for something and He doesn’t answer, so you change your request or mind and stop asking? I have been struggling with this kind of wavering and didn’t even really realize it until a verse stopped me in my tracks last night. Let me give you the back story.

Starting a Church

My husband (Matt) and I planted a church in the greater Philadelphia area in 2011. We started guns a blazing and sure the church would grow to 200 in the first year. Well that was several years ago, and we still haven’t grown to 100 yet. It has been much more difficult and harder than we ever thought.

We  prayed and prayed and begged God to grow the church. We did all the “grow your church” ideas, read all the books, listened to the podcasts, etc. Our church just didn’t take off like we expected it to.

The Present

It still hasn’t taken off almost six years later. Lately, I have fallen into a bad pattern. I get so discouraged on Sunday nights and Mondays. I vacillate between begging God to grow the church, bring visitors, help people to be faithful to church and having faith that it is going to grow into a great work for God one day… to thinking maybe it is time for us to move on. Maybe it is time to hand the church over to someone else that can grow the church. Maybe we are good starters, but not growers for the church. Maybe God is moving us on.

So I was laying in bed last night and reciting some verses from James in my head. When I can’t go to sleep right away or get my mind to stop working at night, I quote Bible passages that I am memorizing in my head and I usually fall right to sleep. So I was reciting James 1 and verse 7 totally stopped me in my tracks.

For let not that man think he shall receive any thing of the Lord. James 1:7

What man is this talking about? What man is not going to receive anything from the Lord? It is referring to the man in verses 5 and 6.

 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.                                                                                                        But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. James 1:6

So if we are lacking wisdom in some area of our lives (us on how to grow the church), we are supposed to ask God for that wisdom. But we have to ask believing He will do it and not wavering. The word waver means “to withdraw from.” So when I ask God for wisdom on how to move forward and how to grow the church but then turn around and tell my husband I think it is time to move on, I am withdrawing my request from God. God says that the man who does this will not receive anything from Him. So am I bringing this all on myself? It kind of sounds like it.

 

The next verse takes it even another step further.

A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. James 1:8

So not only will I not receive anything from the Lord when I am wavering in my prayers, but I am going to be unstable in every other area of my life. Sheesh! I had better take heed and listen to what God is saying here!

My Commitment

So here is my conclusion. As hard as it is, I decided I need to stop wavering on my prayers for the church and follow through with the faith to believe God will answer my prayer. He will give us the wisdom to run the church. Whether or not it grows to be a big church or not is totally up to Him and has nothing to do with me.

What are you struggling with wavering in prayer on? This is our encouragement to stick with it and not give up! Is it wisdom for a relationship? A child who is far from God? A financial burden? The next step? Keep asking God for wisdom for whatever it is that you are wavering on and don’t give up. I am doing the same!

 

Matt preaching

Matt preaching at our church

*** Click on the link below to get a glimpse of our church***

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