Have you ever made a bad decision or reacted to something poorly, and you wished you could get a do-over? Usually, it’s the next morning that you realize you overreacted. Or maybe it’s after you finally eat something that the shame and guilt comes.
Jacob and Esau
So often, we get ruled by our baser instincts and end up doing or saying things we wish we hadn’t. We can see this so clearly from the story of Esau. Esau and Jacob were brothers, born to Isaac and Rebekah. Esau was a hunter and man of the field, while Jacob was an indoor man and loved to cook.
One day, Esau comes in from being out in the fields. He smells what Jacob is cooking and begs for a bowl. Jacob, being the manipulator that he was, saw it as an opportunity. He tells Esau that he can only have a bowl of stew if Esau will give him his birthright. The birthright was something very dear in those days. It was a blessing that was given to the firstborn and carried a lot of weight. Jacob uses this opportunity to take Esau’s blessing from him. Look at Esau’s response.
“All right,” Jacob replied, “but trade me your rights as the firstborn son.”
“Look, I’m dying of starvation!” said Esau. “What good is my birthright to me now?”
Genesis 25:31,32
Esau’s Hunger
Esau gives up his birthright for a bowl of stew. He made a huge mistake, one he would regret for the rest of his life, simply because he was hungry.
We don’t know how long Esau was out in the field. Was it an entire day? Was it longer than a day? We’re not given a timeline. We only know that he shows up exhausted and hungry and ready to eat, and he is willing to give up his future for some food right now.
Learning to HALT
We’re hard on Esau, but how many of us have done something similar? We make a bad decision or blow it and lose our temper, saying things we regret simply because we didn’t get enough sleep or we didn’t eat soon enough. We get wrapped around the axle and make foolish decisions when our base needs are not met. It happens to all of us, and we need to watch out for it.
So how do we keep from blowing it? Learn to H. A. L. T. Don’t make any major decisions and try to avoid arguments when you are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.
1. Hungry
It makes us sound so childish, but we make lots of mistakes when we’re hungry. We can take care of this in two ways. One, learn not to be controlled by our hungry. Don’t lose your mind when you’re hungry. You will eat again, and you will make it. Second, don’t go too long without eating, especially if you know it makes you on edge.
2. Angry
When you feel angry, that is not the time for a “discussion.” Wait until you cool off. Nothing positive ever comes from confronting a problem or a person when you’re angry. Your emotions are too close to the surface. Go for a walk, go into another room, take a break…whatever you need to do to help release your anger. Only when you’re no longer angry should you go back to addressing the issue at hand.
3. Lonely
This one creeps up on us because it’s not always so obvious, but don’t make any major decisions when you’re lonely. Don’t move, don’t take a new job, don’t reconnect with somebody you know you shouldn’t, don’t quit your job when you’re lonely.
4. Tired
Life is so much more complicated when you’re tired. Have you ever noticed that? After a night of little sleep, the world feels like a terrible place. Or conversely, after a great night of sleep, life is so good. Don’t let your emotions control you just because you’re tired. Put off confrontations, problems, or things that need a lot of mental attention until you can fix the problem. And do your best to fix the problem. Take a nap, go to bed earlier, go back to bed…whatever you need to do to get the rest you need. This looks different in different seasons of life, and sometimes exhaustion is just the way of life. If that’s the case, just be aware of it and don’t make any major decisions.
So the next time you are ready to make a decision, or confront somebody, or have that argument, HALT first. Make sure you’re not just hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Fix any of those things first before having that conversation or making that decision. I promise you it will save you a lot of regret in the end.
More Encouragement
For more encouragement, check out my post, You Can Avoid Making Foolish Decisions or check out Lisa TerKeurst’s book, The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands.
